Comparison is a natural part of human behaviour—we all look to others to gauge where we stand and better understand ourselves. But when we constantly measure our own progress, success, and struggles against that of others, it doesn’t necessarily serve us well.
In addiction recovery, comparison culture can manifest in many ways:
- Measuring your progress against someone else’s timeline
- Feeling like your struggles aren’t serious enough to justify seeking help
- Believing that others are “recovering better” than you
- Worrying that you’re falling behind in rebuilding your life, relative to others
And yet, we know that recovery is deeply personal; no two journeys are the same. While it’s natural to compare, getting caught in this mindset can be damaging, resulting in feelings of discouragement, self-doubt, and inadequacy.
In this article, we examine how comparison culture impacts our sense of meaning and purpose and how we can divest from it and replace it with something more meaningful.
Comparing Undermines Personal Growth
One of the most harmful effects of comparison culture is that it shifts your focus outward instead of inward. When you constantly compare yourself to others, you may ignore your own progress, strengths, and personal victories. This can leave you feeling like you’re never “good enough” in recovery, even when you’re making meaningful strides.
Unnecessary Pressure
Recovery is already challenging. Adding pressure to “keep up” with others can make it even harder. We may feel ashamed if our progress seems slower, or push ourselves too hard to match someone else’s achievements. This pressure can lead to burnout, frustration, or even resumed use.
Warps Our Sense of Purpose
Comparison culture can distort your understanding of what truly matters in recovery. Instead of focusing on what makes your life fulfilling and meaningful, you may start chasing external validation, wanting to appear as “successful” as others rather than pursuing what genuinely brings you joy and purpose.
Comparison and Isolation
If you constantly feel like you’re not measuring up, you might withdraw from your recovery community out of shame or embarrassment. Isolation can be dangerous in recovery, especially since support and connection play a critical role in maintaining long-term sobriety.
Recovery Isn’t a Race
There’s no finish line, and there’s no “perfect” way to do it. Your journey is yours alone, and what works for someone else may not work for you. Progress isn’t about speed—it’s about consistency and personal growth.
Keep Your “Why” in Mind
Why did you choose recovery? What are your personal goals? What kind of life do you want to build? Anchoring yourself in your own purpose will help you stay grounded and prevent comparison from dictating your self-worth.
People Often Only Show the Highlights
We must also be aware that what we see of others’ lives is highly curated and polished. With social media, it’s easy to feel like you’re falling short. You’re in control, and there’s nothing wrong with snoozing or unfollowing social media accounts that make you feel stressed or inadequate; take breaks from certain platforms, or from social media overall if needed!
Maintain Solid Relationships
It’s also important to surround yourself with people who uplift and encourage you, rather than those who feed into comparison culture. Support groups, therapists, and mentors can help you maintain a healthy perspective and remind you that your journey is unique and valuable.
Practice Gratitude
Lastly—and we’ve said this a thousand times—practice gratitude and self-reflection. Focus on what you’ve gained, rather than on what you’re lacking or have left. Journaling about your progress, keeping a gratitude list, or simply taking time to reflect on how far you’ve come can shift your mindset from comparison to appreciation. No victory is too small in recovery. Every step forward—whether it’s a week of sobriety, mending a relationship, or just getting through a tough day—matters. By acknowledging and celebrating your own milestones, you reinforce the idea that your journey is meaningful, no matter how it compares to someone else’s.
Stay Connected to Your Goals
Comparison culture is a difficult trap to escape, especially in recovery. But by shifting your focus inward, staying connected to your personal goals, and surrounding yourself with positive influences, you can safeguard your sense of meaning and purpose. Recovery is about progress, not perfection. Your journey is yours alone. Honour it, trust it, and keep moving forward.
Sunshine Coast Health Centre and Georgia Strait Women’s Clinic are world-class centres for mental health and addiction treatment. We take an approach that recognizes the importance of the physical, psychological, social and spiritual aspects of individuals in treatment and recovery. The first step is the hardest, but it’s also the most important. If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use or mental health, give us a call today.
