A Mother’s Day Memory… From one of our Clients
My Mom went to the family program this February, along with my Dad. My Dad has always been a little more understanding about addiction issues as he had some background as a social worker. He was the first family member I told about my opiate addiction. Though he knew my addiction was directly related to my PTSD and anxiety disorder, he was lost in terms of what to do.
I had never told my Mom what class of drugs I was using. She’s a nurse and if she knew the doses I was taking, she would not only be floored, but devastated. Once my Dad brought up the idea of SCHC’s Family Program and I knew I wanted to go for a 2-week alumni refresher, I decided to tell my Mom exactly what drugs I was doing. It was one of the hardest things I had to do… look my Mom in the eye and tell her that I was using heavy drugs and that my usage was extremely risky. She was rightfully horrified, and a week or so later we found ourselves back in Powell River.
After attending on the first day, she arrived back at our cabin and gave me a big, warm hug and wouldn’t let go of me. She started crying. She said to me quietly “I’m sorry I never understood it. I’m sorry I was insensitive. I never knew how much work it was to be in recovery. I never understood the battle that goes on in your head. It’s all making sense to me.” I told her she didn’t need to apologize, and that this was just how I had learned to cope. What made me shed a tear was her conveying to me her understanding of the amount of work that goes into either maintaining or overcoming an addiction. I felt like for the first time, she “got it”. I’ve always been close with my Mom, now we’re just that much more closer.
Many Mother’s Days I would numb myself out of shame and guilt of what I was putting her through. This Mother’s Day, I want nothing more than to feel the love, even if it comes with some pain. No drug is stronger than our bond now. No drug will take the place of my mother again.