Canada Drug Rehab

By Geoff Thompson, MA, CCC
Program Director
Sunshine Coast Health Center

The 2010 INPM conference with the theme of “Creating a Psychologically Healthy Workplace” turned out very well for all involved. It was great to hear from some of the leading experts about how well-being depends on meaning and purpose in life. And there were several experts in the addiction field talking, such as Ken Hart and Alan Marlatt. And many of the speakers talked about research on the treatment of addiction.

Most of the speakers geared their talks to the workplace but what they said applies to all aspects of life. A big topic was the difference between “happiness” and “meaning.” As you know from looking at the self-help section of bookstores, finding “happiness” is very big today. But the conference speakers did not have much faith that this would lead to a better life. The problem of making the goal of life to “be happy” is that human beings suffer. And some suffer terribly. If your goal is to be happy, then what happens when you’re having a bad day? What happens if your teenage son acts out or crashes the car? What happens if work is causing you grief? If your goal is to be happy, you’re going to fail a great deal of the time.

But if your goal is to find meaning, then you don’t expect to be “happy” all the time. One of the things the speakers pointed out is that to be human is to suffer. It is as natural to life as a heart beat. At Sunshine Coast, all of our clients have suffered because of addiction. But those with good recovery actually tell us that they are “thankful” they were addicts. They are thankful for suffering because it helped them discover a more satisfying way of living. That’s a truism of human nature. We grow by overcoming our problems. Without problems, how would we grow? On the other hand, if your goal is to be happy, you certainly wouldn’t be thankful for suffering. You’d see that as a total failure.

Another problem that many of the conference presenters pointed out about trying to be “happy” is that it is self-centered. If your goal is happiness, then you have to walk about the universe asking yourself, “Am I happy?” Think about that. If your concern is your own happiness, how much attention will you pay to others? And if you don’t pay attention to others you’ll be lonely and isolated.

There were lots of interesting speakers at the conference, and in this article we’ll talk about four, whose talks are relevant to addiction and recovery.

Part One—Todd Kashdan

Dr. Todd Kashdan is a remarkable research psychologist. He’s only 35, and he’s published 100 articles and book chapters, all about meaning and purpose. And he’s written a book, “Curious.” At the conference he talked about one study he did with alcoholics, which should be of great help to understanding addiction and recovery.

The research projected asked drinkers to carry around a beeper. When the beeper went off, they wrote down what they were feeling. And there were also specific times that he asked the drinkers to write down their feelings, such as just before they were going to drink.

The results were fascinating. It turns out that all the participants had intense feelings. Some were happy, some sad, some mad. But there was no link between the intensity of the feeling and the amount of alcohol they drank. This seems to contradict much of our belief about why people drink. Clients at Sunshine Coast often claim they get loaded because of an angry outburst with their partner or bad feelings at work or because they felt good and wanted to feel better.

According to Dr. Kashdan’s study, however, the real link with drinking was whether the person could describe his or her feelings. For example, if the participant wrote, “I feel bad,” then he would likely drink a lot. “Feeling bad” is not very descriptive. No detail. The person really couldn’t make sense of what he or she was feeling. But those who wrote, ‘I was feeling guilty because I raised my voice to a friend, and that’s not who I am’ would not drink that much. In other words, if the person could make sense of his emotions, he would drink significantly less.

So the link between emotions and drinking is not the intensity of the emotion; rather, it depends on whether he or she could name and detail what they were feeling. In other words, the key was whether the person could find meaning in the emotions. This ability is a big part of finding meaning and purpose in life.

Part Two—Alex Pattakos

Dr. Alex Pattakos is known as “Dr. Meaning.” The Fanny Kiefer show in Vancouver learned he was speaking at the conference and interviewed him, just to give you a sense of Dr. Pattakos’ reputation. He’s written a famous book called, “Prisoners of our Thoughts.”

Pattakos basically takes Viktor Frankl’s theories and boils them down to make them understandable for everyone.

In past articles I have mentioned Frankl’s belief that each of us is free to choose the attitude we take toward something or someone. An example here is addiction. Most clients at Sunshine Coast are angry at their addiction. It has caused them lots of suffering. Later, in recovery, many people change their attitude toward the addiction. Some people even say that they are “thankful” for their addiction. The key to a good attitude is if it works for you. If being angry at your addiction is helpful, then it’s a good idea to stay angry at it. But if your attitude toward your addiction is that you really miss alcohol and drugs because you love to get high, then this likely won’t work out well for your recovery. But the point is that you have the freedom to change your attitude.

Pattakos also talks about Frankl’s idea of “de-reflection.” Basically, de-reflection means changing your focus on some matter. He uses the example of “complaining.” Complaining is a common pastime for those with addiction problems. But the problem with complaining is that it does not solve anything; in fact, it usually reinforces a belief of being a victim. In his book, Pattakos relates the story of where he used to work. The staff complained so much about conditions that they went on strike. Pattakos’ boss said, “Good for them! However, the show must go on, so let’s see what we can do without them.” His boss used de-reflection, switching the focus from dwelling on all the problems due to the strike to dwelling on solutions.

Frankl also stressed the need for action. Pattakos provides exercises at the end of each chapter for the reader to consider. Although the topics are different, the key question is ‘What did you actually do about the problem’. It’s not enough in life to simply think about things you don’t like or wish for something better for yourself. You actually have to DO something to change your life. This is a common problem for those in recovery. Clients often have a good intellectual knowledge of what they have to do and still suffer. The key is to act, not merely think about it.

A third example in Pattakos’ book is that people often work against themselves. This is very true for those in recovery. They may know that they have to make new clean and sober friends, yet they keep in touch only with their using buddies. They may be trying to recover but refuse to give up going to the bar for their social life (they try to get away with drinking soda water). They may want a better relationship with their spouse, but they are always ready for an argument. In each of these cases, the person is working against himself.

Part Three—Paul Wong

Dr. Paul Wong, whose ideas form the basis for the new program at Sunshine Coast, gave a talk on meaning-centered therapy.

To help the audience understand this therapy, he volunteered a psychiatrist to show how a psychiatrist works with patients, and Geoff to show how a meaning-centered therapist conducts therapy. When Dr. Wong asked the audience what differences they saw between the psychiatrist and Geoff, they observed that a meaning-centered approach treated the client as a human being first. The psychiatrist was more interested in keying on the patient’s problem.

At Sunshine Coast, we see the client as a unique human being, who happens to have an addiction. We see the human being first, rather than some patient that needs to be diagnosed and fixed.

After this little demonstration, Dr. Wong talked about “basic human needs.” These needs, according to his research, are: meaning (vs emptiness), virtue (vs destructive way of life), resilience (vs. giving up), relationships (vs. loneliness and alienation), hope (vs despair and depression), faith (vs. fear), and well-being (vs. boredom, brokenness).

If a therapist sees a client as a human being, then the therapist is interested in these basic needs. The problem is that each client has to find his own way of satisfying these needs; if he doesn’t, he will suffer unnecessarily. This is why, at Sunshine Coast, therapists never tell clients what to do or how to live their lives or what they should think. No therapist can provide the answer to a client’s basic needs. That’s their job. It’s just not possible for a therapist to give a client well-being if they are bored. It’s not possible for a therapist to give a client a relationship, if they are lonely. No therapist can ‘fix’ a client.

Part Four—Alexander Batthyany

Dr. Alexander Batthyany is head of the science and research department at the Viktor Frankl Institute in Vienna. He is also a professor of psychology at the University of Vienna.

Needless to say, he’s one of the world’s leading experts on Frankl. In his talk, he spoke about how Viktor Frankl interpreted what it means to live a good life. Clients at Sunshine Coast are told the story of Frankl’s experiences in the Nazi death camps. From these experiences, he developed the idea that human beings can choose how to live their lives. Even though the prison guards controlled their bodies, Frankl said that prisoners could still choose to control their minds.

Dr. Batthyany said that if someone punches you, and you are angry about it, you still get to choose how you will react. If, out of anger, you punch him back, then you choose to be aggressive. On the other hand, you can choose not to punch him back and find another way of dealing with it. So you have choices, or, as Dr. Batthyany put it, “There are lots of potential selves” you can choose from; which you choose dictates who you are. This is also what Frankl called “freedom.” You are free to choose your life.

In other words, it is not the circumstances that dictate your life, but how you react to the circumstances.

Dr. Batthyany also said it was a waste of time to pursue happiness, and anyone whose goal is “to be happy” will soon discover that this is not a good approach. Batthyany said that people whose goal is happiness ask themselves two questions: “Did I get what I want?” and “Am I feeling good.” Since it’s impossible always to get what you want and it’s impossible always to feel good, then these people are doomed.

Geoff Thompson, Program Director for the Sunshine Coast Health Centre, concludes his four part series on the link between meaningful work, happiness and recovery. One of the things that Geoff has noticed with clients is that most (but not all) who have found happiness also have work that they find to be fulfilling.

By Geoff Thompson - MA, CCC
Program Director
Sunshine Coast Health Center

One of the beneficial things to do in recovery is occasionally to pause and reflect on how your life is going. Many in recovery are busy, doing this and that, and never take time to think about their progress, how far they have come from where they were.

With this in mind, this article will pause and reflect on the second anniversary that Sunshine Coast has been offering the online support program for its alumni. We’ve mentioned dozens of recovery topics from relapse prevention techniques to dealing with family members to discovering spirituality.

With more than 100 topics covered, what are the major themes that the online program has pursued? What are the most important, according to our alumni and research? Which topics seem to have the greatest impact?  

To be honest, we don’t know for sure. But pooling all the information, here are four. We’re not sure if these are the top four, but they’re close. 

We know that addicts suffer horribly because their do things in their lives that do not match what they truly value and what they truly believe. What has been controlling them is the substance. And we often find that those in early recovery are still being controlled by outside forces: family, financial crises, and so on. The secret to this dilemma is written on the AA chip: “To thine own self be true.”

Of course, being true to yourself doesn’t mean that you get to do anything that you feel like doing. You live in a world over which you have little control. This is our second topic: How do you take control of your life in a world that dictates everything from how fast you can drive your car to the fact that you will die. No matter how much you may want to play basketball in the NBA, if you’re 5’2” it’s not going to happen. That’s just the way the world is.

Our third topic reminds you that the key to happiness is to live a personally meaningful life. If you are living a personally meaningful life, then the byproduct will be that you are happy. You don’t even have to work at being happy; it just comes naturally.

The fourth topic is about suffering. Sadly, many people think that living the good life means not suffering. All those advertisements telling you that suffering is not necessary and can be avoided are wrong. If happiness depended on lack of suffering, then no one would be happy. Everybody suffers. So what’s the trick to dealing with suffering?

The fifth topic is on putting it all together.

Theme One—You are the author of your life

You are the author of your life. This is also backed up by research on recovery. In fact, it is likely the most important factor in your recovery, although in psychology we use terms such as “intrinsic motivation” or “internal locus of control.” Basically, being the author of your life means that it’s your job to figure out how to live your life.

You have one life to live, so how do you want to live it? That’s the bottom-line question that faces every human being. There will be no thunder-bolts coming down from the heavens to save you; you have to make choices.

You have lots of options. You can, for instance, become one of the crowd. There’s great benefit in this. You’ll be accepted, and you’ll have less conflict in life. But, of course, you likely won’t feel very good. In previous articles, we talked about the great psychologist, Rollo May, who said being one of the crowd was the single greatest reason why people suffered in the 20th century. People agreed to be part of the “herd” because they had such a desperate need to feel ‘part of’ that they were willing to give up what they valued and believed. Eugene O’Neill called them the “spiritual middle-class: how petty their dreams must have been.”

Similarly, you can live your life by avoiding things that make you uncomfortable. If you’re worried about being hurt by someone close to you, then you don’t have to get close to anyone. If you’re filled with worries about finances, you can choose to stay at your job even if you really don’t like it. If being around family makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to deal with them.

Another option: You can choose to be a victim of life. ‘If only I hadn’t had such a lousy upbringing….’ Or ‘My family should stop treating me as a kid’. Or ‘It’s unfair that I got this disease….’

The choice is yours.

Theme Two: Ask Life what it demands of you

Viktor Frankl told us that unhappy people go about the universe demanding that others or things be a certain way. ‘My parents should be fully supportive of me in my recovery’. ‘My life would be so much better if my boss weren’t such a jerk’. ‘I’d fall in love if only I could meet a rich supermodel who would adore me’. ‘I’d be happy if only I had a million dollars’. And so on…

The problem with this approach is that people and things just do what they do, regardless of what you want. The only thing that gets accomplished by demanding things from life is that you get isolated and miserable. Studies of people with cancer, for instance, have shown that those who do not accept the reality of their illness will suffer more than those who do. As strange as this may seem to you, many people who have learned they are HIV+ have said that the diagnosis shocked them into realizing how precious life is.

Bill W. said that a key to recovery was to “Live life on life’s terms.” Frankl’s version of this was “Ask life what it demands of you.” This is the opposite of demanding that others or things be a certain way.

Here’s just one small example:Many clients at Sunshine Coast tell us they have problems making decisions because they don’t want to lose out. “I’ll have a couple of lovers around; that way, if one dumps me, I have a backup.” “I don’t know what to do because I’m afraid of making a bad choice.” People who operate like this have not yet figured out reality. It’s simply part of the rules of life that whatever choice you make, you will lose out. If you choose one lover over another, you lose one. If you choose school over work, you lose the paycheque. If you work on Saturdays, you may miss your son’s soccer game. This is reality.

(BTW, not making a choice is a choice. When you don’t take control and choose, reality eventually steps in and makes the choice for you.)

Theme Three: Happiness means living a personally meaningful life

This is, of course, Viktor Frankl’s theory of human happiness. As we mentioned last month, psychology is torn between whether the key is to live a hedonistic life (do what makes you feel good) or to live a meaningful life. At Sunshine Coast, we go with Frankl.

We often ask questions to Sunshine Coast clients to help them begin the process of figuring out what is meaningful to them. Why would you bother going through the irritation of cleaning up? What is it about your life that you are willing to fight for it? What makes you want to get up in the morning with energy and passion? Of course, most clients struggle with these questions, but they are fundamental to recovery.

As we’ve mentioned many times to our clients, happiness is what recovery is really about — which means that living a meaningful life is what recovery is all about. So many people run into trouble because they believe that the goal of recovery is abstinence or going to three AA meetings each week or eating right, and so on. These goals hardly equal living a meaningful life. You have to keep your eye on what makes you feel fulfilled, contented, alive. The big picture in your life. 

Theme Four: The problem of suffering

Suffering is one of those things that people have been trying to make sense of for millennia, and we’ve touched on this idea in several online programs. At Sunshine Coast, we help clients find ways to eliminate unnecessary suffering due to their addictions, but we also try to help them make sense of their suffering in a new way.

Shifting how you look at suffering is important for recovery. Modern research is showing that your life will improve if you can find meaning in suffering. It is through suffering that people often transform and discover how to live a fulfilling and vital life. In fact, it is usually because of suffering that we change how we live.

The first part of transforming suffering is to accept it. One of those truisms in life is that sh*t happens. Remember that old saying (about 2100 years old, actually): It’s not about what happens to you, it’s about how you deal with it. For the rest of your life, there will be lots of things happening to you that are not so pleasant or unexpected and really irritating. You may be hurt by a lover, find yourself in a ridiculous lawsuit because of a disgruntled person, be the victim of a scam, break your leg while skiing, find that someone has broken a promise to you, realize that someone lied to you, and on and on.

The second part of transforming suffering is to rise above it. Psychologist Paul Wong who developed the therapy model we use at Sunshine Coast, and who is suffering from cancer, told us last summer: “I’m thankful that I’ve suffered so much in my life.” Suffering had taught him to stick to his values regardless of outside pressure. It taught him how beautiful life could be. It taught him that he could be a role model for others who suffered but who did not know how to handle suffering. And so on. Paul has not avoided suffering—he’s risen above it.

Theme Five—Living the good life

Here’s just one of all the fellows who went through Sunshine Coast: After his fourth time hitting bottom, Harry (not his real name) decided that he had to do something with his life. In his first time at Sunshine Coast (third treatment center), Harry, a senior citizen whose wife passed away recently, was in rough physical shape. He learned how not to live his life. After treatment, he went to AA but found it boring and had no feeling that he really belonged there. He lived along and didn’t have much contact with his kids. The only real contact was with his alcoholic neighbor. Six months later, he relapsed.

When he came back to Sunshine Coast for his second time, he figured out that he needed a reason not to quit drinking. So he put together an impressive plan for how to live a full life, in spite of his physical ailments, age, and loss of his wife. We hear from Harry every once in a while—he now has a couple of years of sobriety and tells us that he is doing well.

What had happened? I would suggest that Harry finally realized that if he wanted any sort of life, he’d have to make it happen for himself. He had to fight for his life, which meant that he had to believe that he was worth fighting for. He used his creative intelligence to figure out how he could live in a way that made him feel satisfied, and he put all the pieces together. He returned to AA, but this time found a home group where he felt he fit in. He started to volunteer at a place that he felt he could contribute his talents. He made a schedule to meet with his kids. 

Not that everything was easy or worked out for Harry. When he screwed up, he learned from it. He fought through the cravings, knowing that he was quite capable of this. He didn’t say ‘F-it’ and give up when he was having a bad day. He didn’t blame others or his health or for his misery. He had a mission to live a better life.

By Geoff Thompson, MA, CCC                                                                                                                  Program Director

Psychologist Paul Wong, whose work forms part of the basis for the clinical program at Sunshine Coast Health Center, just published his latest book on meaning and purpose. He outlines the theory and research on the importance of living a personally meaningful life. Dr. Wong’s ideas spring from the argument that there are two fundamental motivations in an individual: “(a) to survive, and (b) to find the meaning and reason for survival.”

For those of you who were at Sunshine Coast Health Center in the past year, you know that meaning and purpose has become a major theme in our treatment.

Dr. Wong’s book includes his Meaning Management Theory (MMT). Essentially, he says that we have to manage how we seek meaning and how we create meaning. We need to manage this part of our lives because “Life is too short and too valuable to waste on things that don’t really matter.” MMT helps us “understand who we are (identity), what really matters (values), where we are headed (purpose), and how to live the good life in spite of suffering and death (happiness).” MMT is not so much concerned with what job we should do or where we should live or how to balance a cheque book; rather, it is about how we can live life to the fullest.

His book provides several principles for managing our inner lives, which are based on research. In this particular book he applies these principles to how we confront death and dying (It turns out that the best way to “die well” is to “live well.”) But the principles are fundamental to human nature and have been applied in many areas: growing older, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, workplace satisfaction, occupational therapy, depression and anxiety, and creativity, to name a handful.

In this blog article, we’ll look at four of these principles and help you discover how these apply to recovery. We’ll look at one of the following principles: (1) be self-aware, (2) keep an eye on your future, (3) act according to what you value, and (4) be courageous.

FYI: As word of the new program spreads, many addiction experts are contacting us about their meaning-oriented studies. Here are two examples. Dr. Pavel Somov in Philadelphia runs a “Meaning in Life Group” for inmates in recovery. Dr. Ken Hart of the University of Windsor studied a sample of recovering people two years after they had completed treatment for substance dependence and found that their quality of life was closely linked to how well they had managed to live a meaningful life. And, of course, Bill W. believed that alcoholism was a response to a lack of meaningful living. His version was that the alcoholic was the person “who was trying to get his religion out of a bottle, when what he really wanted was unity within himself, unity with God.”

Be Self-aware

One of the principles that Dr. Wong outlines in his book is ‘be self-aware’. If he is correct, then we can predict that those who lack self-awareness will not be happy. And it just so happens that research backs this up.

If we are to be happy and content, then we must know what makes us happy and content—that is, we need to know what gives us meaning. Counsellors at Sunshine Coast Health Center often ask clients, “How are you feeling?” One reason for this is to help the client start paying attention to what is going on inside of them. In active addiction individuals usually try to avoid negative feelings, and if they do this long enough they often start to lose touch with themselves.

Clients at Sunshine Coast just beginning the program often have curious ideas about what makes them feel happy and content. Here is a typical example. A common comment from a new client is, “I’m happy today.” When we explore what this means, it is often equivalent to ‘I feel relieved’ that my family doesn’t hate me or that my partner is willing to keep the relationship going or I now realize that others lied and manipulated to get their way in active addiction. But feeling less guilty or shameful is hardly the same as happiness. It is a sad fact that clients who say ‘I’m happy’ may never have had any real experience of what happiness is.

Another example: A client early in the program told us, “If someone has sex with me, then they love me.” It is very likely that this client does not know what love is. One more example: “I’m happy when I have a lot of money.” This one is quite common with our younger clients, but a mountain of research has shown that, except with the very poor, it simply is not true.

These clients lack self-awareness. They pursue goals that will not lead them to happiness and contentment (relief from guilt, sex, money). Unless they become self-aware of what truly makes them feel content, it is very likely that the cravings will return and be more intense, and relapse will become a real possibility.

Pay Attention to Your Future (your goals)

Another principle that Dr. Wong mentions in his book is to keep an eye on the future. He would help his students understand this by presenting the following: Imagine you are watching Sidney Crosby in a hockey game. What would you think if you saw him merely skating circles around the other team with no plan, no direction? You’d probably wonder what on earth he is doing—he’s just skating in circles, not accomplishing anything. But Crosby’s behavior on ice is never without purpose. He always has his eye on the goal, and everything he does is directed toward the goal.

Most addicts in active addiction have one goal—get and use substances. In other parts of their lives, they pay little attention to goals. It’s unusual to them pursuing close relationships, helping their communities, producing higher quality work, etc. Most often, they simply wander about the universe, reacting to things and people as they appear. They are not purpose-driven; they don’t act, they react.

One of the clearest examples is employment. The jobs that most work at are not carefully chosen for their meaningfulness. Common things we hear from clients at Sunshine Coast Health Center: the job just fell into his lap; his parents found him a job; the job provides a place where he can feel good about himself because the other parts of his life are disasters; the job has no meaning so it doesn’t matter if he gets himself fired or quits; the job is dealing drugs because it provides a ready source of drugs and he can feel like ‘the big man on campus’; the job is useful to provide money for drugs. In other words, most addicts do not work at a job because it is personally meaningful. The ‘purpose’ of working at a particular job is only as a source of self-esteem, a paycheque, etc.

Dr. Wong points out that there is another psychological benefit of keeping an eye on the future. When people are purpose-driven and achieving their goals, then many of their ‘issues’ (depression, anger, etc) naturally melt away without much effort. Those who have a bigger picture of their lives do not obsess about the little things. On the other hand, those who do not have a bigger picture of their lives have only the little things to focus on. Chores, a toothache, paying bills, grocery shopping, and so on become sources of boredom and irritation for those who don’t live a purpose-driven life.

Act According to Your Values

Being congruent means that you act according to your values, and this is another of Dr. Wong’s principles. We can predict that those who are not congruent—that is, whose actions do not match their values—will suffer.

Addicts in active addiction are famous for acting against their values. Loving fathers will steal their kids’ favorite videos to pawn for cash, or Dad will miss a birthday party because he is intoxicated. Loving husbands will lie to and manipulate their lover. Otherwise law-abiding citizens, when intoxicated, will get behind the wheel to drive to the liquor store.

Another example of acting against values is wearing a mask. Those in active addiction tend to present an image to others that hides their true feelings—and, likely, they are trying to hide from themselves.

Your values (what you find meaningful) come from within. This internal part of your life is fantastically more rich and varied than your outward behavior. You may take on different roles in life (lover, employee, etc), but you never escape who you are, that is, what is meaningful to you. At Sunshine Coast when we do our eulogy exercise, almost everyone talks about loving relationships, deep connection with family, integrity, making the world a little better place, helping others. These have meaning for clients, and their happiness depends on their acting according to these values. Many times at Sunshine Coast, however, we witness clients blowing a gasket on their families when we know what the client truly wanted was a deep connection with them.

The key is to act according to these values. At Sunshine Coast Health Center we spend a lot time encouraging clients to be honest, not to distort or deny what is going on because they were afraid or uncomfortable or concerned that they might ‘ruin another client’s recovery’. If something bothers our clients, we encourage them to be open about this and not hide or pretend that they weren’t bothered. This effort is to help them become congruent.

Be Courageous

As Dr. Wong points out in his book, Eastern teachings tell us that “the best defense may be a good offense.” Yet, we have to work at not getting trapped by our defenses. It is natural to make our lives more comfortable by using defense mechanisms. Formally catalogued by Anna Freud (Sigmund Freud’s daughter), defense mechanisms attempt to protect the individual’s core self. Being very intellectual to avoid feeling, being self-centered, and so on are attempts to protect who we are. 

But, as many of our clients at Sunshine Coast discover, these defense mechanisms may actually cause harm because they prevent individuals from taking an honest look at themselves.

Defense mechanisms may harm clients in recovery by preventing them from taking control of their lives. For example, at Sunshine Coast it’s common for clients to ask staff to step in to resolve some personal conflict. They typically say, “I can’t handle this guy” or “I’m just learning how to be the author of my life, but I need you to get this guy out of my face” and so on. When we explore this sort of defense with clients, we almost always find that the client is quite capable of dealing with the issue. The problem is that he doesn’t want to because it makes him uncomfortable. He has to face his fears of being assertive or his fears of conflict. 

Dr. Wong reminds us that courage in facing fear, a good offense, is often the best approach to living. The same clients who may be silent in the face of their fears, also value courage. They like movies where the hero overcomes adversity. They admire Terry Fox. But faced with confronting their own fears…well, that’s the real thing and very uncomfortable.

It takes courage to fight for a better life. The great psychologist Viktor Frankl said that in the toughest times of life we have to dig into our “spiritual core” and awaken our “defiant human spirit.” And Frankl also believed that if he treated his patients as they presented themselves, he would harm them. If he treated them according to what they were capable of, then he helped them.

By Geoff Thompson - MA, CCC

This year is a milestone for Sunshine Coast Health Center. The most obvious improvement is a new building. But the most exciting is a new program that promises to significantly improve the help we offer clients.

Technically, the program is based on meaning-centered therapy (MCT), which was developed by Canadian psychologist Paul Wong. Wong earned his PhD in experimental psychology, but 40 years of research and counseling convinced him that we are more than just chemicals in our brains and our behavior. His essential idea is that some people are vulnerable to addiction because they feel that life isn’t very exciting or comfortable — that it is not personally meaningful. They feel outcasts in the world; they feel they do not belong. Drugs and the drug lifestyle allow them to feel a sense of vitality in their otherwise meaningless, monotonous, and boring life. 

One counsellor I know describes the addict as the kid who is peering into the candy shop window, hoping that someone will let him in. MCT helps them open the door.

This therapy is unique in addiction treatment. Typically, most programs are designed in this sequence: help the addict to quit drugs, deal with the inevitable relapses, deal with personal issues such as anger, and, at some vague point in the future, help them figure out how to live a meaningful life.

Sounds logical, but research is showing that this approach may be wrong-headed. Based on long-term studies of addicts in recovery, researcher William White has shown, for example, that abstinence is the “side effect” of living a meaningful life, not the first step in recovery.

This does not mean that MCT dismisses the biological, psychological, and social components of addiction. Far from it. But it does argue that addressing how to live a meaningful life allows them to overcome their biology and environment.

Most people define the addict based on drug use. But a more useful interpretation is to see the addict as a person who does not feel comfortable day after day, month after month, and year after year without the use of some mood-altering substance or behavior.

This feeling usually starts early. Eric Clapton begins his autobiography with this comment: “From an early age…I began to get the feeling that I was different.” This feeling of being different, being an outcast, not fitting in, not part of, is typical of those who fall prey to addiction. Clapton would soon discover the relief provided by alcohol and drugs. Similarly, the Nobel-Prize winning alcoholic playwright, Eugene O’Neill, told us why he suffered since youth: “I will always be a stranger who never feels at home…who can never belong.” Like Clapton, O’Neill would look to booze to overcome this feeling.

Scientists at the University of California and elsewhere are beginning to put a neurobiological basis to this feeling. The evidence suggests that the things that satisfy ‘normal’ people are not enough for those who are vulnerable to addiction. Addiction experts were never quite sure whether this feeling of being an outcast preceded addiction or was the result of it; however, the evidence is mounting for the former.

Interpreting drug use as a method to overcome a dull and boring life and feel a sense of vitality is not a new idea. In fact, it’s likely the oldest interpretation of why we use drugs. In 500 BC, for instance, the Greek playwright, Euripedes, wrote The Bacchants, a cautionary tale to those naïve enough to believe we can defeat drunkenness. Alcohol had, warned Euripedes, the power of a god. Our thirst for alcohol is our thirst to overcome our dull and boring and painful lives and feel a sense of vitality.

Two giants of 20th century psychology, William James and Carl Jung, argued the same point. James called being drunk “a variety of religious experience”; Jung said that the alcoholic’s thirst for alcohol is his or her thirst for spirituality, for feeling part of a greater reality.

Bill Wilson, the driving force behind the creation of Alcoholics Anonymous, was convinced that the alcoholic is someone “who is trying to get his religion out of a bottle.” Alcoholism was not so much an escape from life as it was the attempt to satisfy the urge to live a more energized and meaningful life. 

Meaning-centered therapy is the practical application of these ideas. It has been applied in geriatrics, occupational therapy, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, and even workplace efficiency with good results. Sunshine Coast Health Center will be the first to apply it to addictions.

Many believe that it may well become a dominant approach for the 21st century. In July 2006, an international conference in Vancouver provided strong evidence that the addict is likely a person whose life is feels life is not very comfortable, who feels an outcast. The 100 speakers, from psychologists to recovering addicts to physicians, linked addiction to a lack of meaningful living. Even the pure scientists, such as renowned neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, put a biological basis for this in the brain.

MCT has other benefits. It is a dignified and respectful therapy. There is no confrontational counseling style to break through ‘denial’, no getting mad at clients, no ordering them around, and no punishing clients for breaking rules. Although such practices are the norm in almost all treatment centers, we’ve known for years that they don’t help recovery. In fact, research has confirmed that they are often abusive and can harm clients.

Although MCT is not a “12-step based” treatment, it is the therapy most closely aligned to the therapeutic elements of the 12-step program, known as its “spiritual principles.” These principles—gratitude, forgiveness, and so on—are fundamental parts of MCT.

About the Author

Geoff Thompson, MA, is the Program Director at Sunshine Coast Health Center, a private addiction treatment facility for adult men. His book, A Long Night’s Journey into Day, explores Eugene O’Neill’s life to uncover the truth of addiction and recovery.

By Geoff Thompson, M.A., CCC

Sunshine Coast Health Center always likes to hear from alumni. This is true even if they have had a slip or relapse — alumni are always encouraged to stay in touch. There is no ned to feel that they have ‘let us down’ if life isn’t going well since we’re all in this together.

Alumni feedback is so important to improving our program. When we talk to former clients, perhaps the most common theme we hear is the importance of putting newfound knowledge into ACTION. Without action, knowledge remains hidden. In fact, alumni have shown us that if they don’t do something concrete with all their knowledge gained from treatment, they can feel even more stress.

Here’s an example. One alumnus told us that he has been struggling for many months; life doesn’t seem to be getting better. At the same time he told us that he knows it would help him to get a sponsor and home group.

But he hasn’t taken the concrete action of finding a sponsor or home group. He’s been telling us this for a while now, and it is obviously playing on his mind, and he keeps beating himself up for not acting.

He says he’s a procrastinator, and perhaps he’s afraid of settling into a 12-Step program. But, for whatever reason, he is sitting back and waiting … with predictable results.

This is just one small example of what we hear from alumni. And we hear many, many stories of how alumni have found a better life. From this information, patterns emerge that help us deepen our understanding of some of the pitfalls and guides on the road to recovery.

Let’s review some of the patterns that we’ve discovered, things that have worked for the alumni and the struggles they have faced.

Pattern #1 - Leaving the shadow behind

A psychologist and university professor, Dr. Paul Wong, invents little sayings as a way of helping his clients and students remember fundamental principles of living a satisfying life. One of his sayings is: “The best way to put the shadow behind you is to turn around and start moving toward the sun.”

What he means is that some of us dwell on past behaviors and situations that can never be changed. Perhaps we stole money from parents or family to pay for drugs; perhaps we lied to lovers to try to hide our addiction; perhaps we were not the best fathers we could have been. Perhaps we put our companies at risk by not attending to important business matters. All of these are common dynamics of our powerlessness over drugs and alcohol. But the past is a done deal, and nothing is going to change it.

Many clients believe that by dwelling on the dark side, their guilt and shame, that they will somehow come to terms with these uncomfortable and stressful feelings. However, a better approach for alumni is to “turn around” and start their goals and dreams.

Pattern #2 - Overcoming loneliness

A common theme we hear from alumni who are doing well in their recovery is that they’ve learned how to deal with loneliness. Similarly, we also hear regularly that those who have not dealt with loneliness often slip.

It is one of the most horrible factors of addiction that we push others away. A typical addict in the final stages of using often hides away from others and uses, or finds some sense of community by hanging out with other addicts. But, as many of our alumni have discovered, the addict’s most important relationship is with the drug, so even if there are others around, they take second place to the drug.

In recovery, we are forced to face loneliness. And now we don’t even have the help of drugs or the drug lifestyle to numb or distract ourselves from uncomfortable feelings.

Some of our alumni know that one of my favorite sayings is, “You are the author of your life.” It is up to you to deal with loneliness. If you run into the arms of a friend because it is quick and simple, then you aren’t dealing with loneliness. You’re using another person to take away your pain. One client put it this way: “It’s hard to feel lonely when you’re naked in bed next to someone.”

Pattern #3 - Keeping an eye on the prize

When clients leave Sunshine Coast, they have a recovery plan based on goals they want to achieve in various areas of their lives.

But life usually throws us curveballs, and alumni have told us that a danger is to get sidetracked because of money, relationships, illness, and who knows how many other interruptions.

Here’s a typical example: “I was offered a job making lots of money. But it was up North and away from my family. My wife didn’t like the idea, but we could save a lot of money in a year and pay off our debts. And I was only going to do it for one year.”

This is a good plan, but it has many risks. For this particular alumnus, it became dangerous. He told us that he got caught up working (workaholism) and the lure of money was so powerful that he forgot the things that were really meaningful to him: love and family and pursuing his dream job. Because of the money, the one year he planned to spend up North just came and went.

Pattern #4 — Living a balanced life

Almost all the alumni who tell us that they are living a balanced life are doing well. According to many psychologists, a balanced life means paying attention to the social, emotional, thinking, occupational, physical, and spiritual parts of daily life. Technically, these are called the six dimensions of wellness.

These alumni tell us that they have made new friends in recovery and rebuilt friendships lost due to drugs. They have found new jobs or new pleasures in jobs that used to be merely a paycheque. They have dealt with emotional issues that used to overwhelm them, such as guilt and anger and resentments. They have regular physical exercise, eat a healthy diet, and sleep well. They pay attention to immediate goals, but always have an eye on the future.

On the other hand, alumni who tell us that they work 12 hours a day and don’t see their family much, are exhausted from work and just order a pizza or fast food, have a hard time making friends in recovery, find life boring, etc, have been prone to relapse and the dry drunk syndrome.

Pattern # 5 — Being true to one’s self

One of the most noticeable dynamics that seems to work for alumni is to be true to themselves. On one side of the AA chips is the saying, “To thine own self be true.” It’s there for a reason. Research has confirmed that following your dreams and goals is fundamental to human happiness.

Those alumni who live by fear and guilt are inevitably suffering. This is a very sad and makes recovery so much more difficult. It’s often hard to follow your bliss when you’re overwhelmed with guilt over your past behaviors and too afraid to take risks that would lead to feeling better.

One alumnus told us that he wanted to change jobs, but this would mean returning to school. He was older and worried that he would not fit in a class of younger students. And he was concerned about finances, having gone into debt because of his addiction.

Another alumnus told us that he was going to six AA meetings a week. He didn’t do this because he found them inspiring; rather, he went to the meetings because it made his partner feel better. But he was bored and it took a real effort to attend so many meetings. He felt obligated to do what his partner wanted, not what he believed.

Conclusion

Alumni that struggle in recovery can often attribute this to (1) dwelling on the past, (2) isolating from others, (3) getting sidetracked, (4) neglecting their health, and (5) and not living authentically. The good news for alumni is that getting back on track is sometimes as simple as a quick review of their discharge plan and a telephone call to Sunshine Coast or their inner circle for support and direction. After all, far better to take action and learn from the experience than do nothing and drift back into old habits.