Canada Drug Rehab

Geoff Thompson, MA, CCC

Geoff Thompson, Program Director for the Sunshine Coast Health Centre, talks about the human need to feel comfortable in your surroundngs, feeling a sense of belonging.

By Geoff Thompson - MA, CCC

Program Director

Recovery demands three connections: with yourself (self-awareness), with others, and with something that makes you feel alive and energized and vital (e.g. volunteering). We’ve talked about these connections in previous blog postings.

One of the questions clients ask is if one connection is more important than others. It’s interesting that many in active addiction have very good self-awareness (though many also struggle with this). Some of the finest literary writers produced very good books while in active addiction. Think of John O’Brien’s novel, Leaving Las Vegas. O’Brien was an alcoholic and his book provides good insight into the nature of addiction. He was fully aware of what addiction is, what it cost him, why he drank. But even self-awareness didn’t help O’Brien. He took his life while in addictive alcoholism. So, connecting with self may not be the most important connection.

According to a remarkable amount of research, the one connection that addicts seem to struggle with the most is the connection with others. Relationships. Even John O’Brien wrote about this struggle to connect with others in Leaving Las Vegas. In fact, the importance of connecting with others is the main theme of the book. And, of course, Eugene O’Neill, the Nobel-Prize winning addict-writer, recognized that it was his feeling of separation from others that was the cause of his drinking. His greatest works are about why connection with others is the key to being clean and sober. In O’Neill’s own struggles to recover, it was through rebuilding connections with his wife and parents that led him to abstinence.

You should know that psychology now promotes relationships as one of the most important factors of life. In the old days, we used to focus on the individual only, trying to understand human beings by studying them in isolation. Today, however, more and more psychologists are developing theories and models that say that the way to understand human beings is through their need to exist in relationships.

So, if we had to choose one type of connection, it would not be a bad idea to choose connection with others.

For those suffering from addiction, the big barrier to connecting with others is Harry in the Bubble—or, from the 12-step interpretation, self-centeredness. Perhaps the most horrifying thing about addiction is that it isolates the addict. This was Eugene O’Neill’s argument, and the reason for his addiction: he never felt comfortable around people (including his parents, and his first two wives and the kids he had with them). Extreme isolation. Extreme loneliness. No sense of belonging.

The reason why Harry lives in the Bubble is due directly to the addiction. Harry is doing something that society, his friends, his boss, is family, his lover, his kids say is ‘bad’. He’s spending enormous amounts of money, told that he is a reject of society, risks his physical health, loses jobs, causes extreme stress in his family, runs into trouble with the law. To continue using the substance he has to come up with all sorts of tactics. Isolation, lies to attain money for the substance, manipulation of family and friends and bosses, and so on. If Harry were not good at these tactics, he wouldn’t be a very successful addict.

The problem is that these tactics push people away. In active addiction, the addict interprets others mainly according to the principle: can they help me get and use the substance, are they neutral, or can they hinder me from getting and using the substance? A family dinner can be a place of suffering if the addict wants to get loaded; the family prevent him from using. Even being with your kids can be a problem; they might catch you out. Bosses are certainly dangerous because they can fire you—or send you to treatment. People avoid you in public; how many people want to sit next to you on the bus if you’re loaded?

In this article we’ll look at how Harry can break out of his Bubble and connect with others.

Part One — Remember the Lessons from Living at Sunshine Coast

There is a reason why Sunshine Coast Health Center is a residential treatment center. Living with others 24 hours a day and 7 days a week may not be too attractive to most new clients, but it has great therapeutic value for overcoming addiction.

For those who in active addiction learned to push others away and isolate, they have to learn new methods to live comfortably. Harry shows up in his Bubble at the center, but now his old tactics of isolating and pushing people away don’t work very well.

Perhaps Harry is in a foul mood. Likely, he has no problem letting others know he is angry, even though all the other clients are suffering with their own issues. He has no problem taking his anger out on someone else or yelling or punching a wall. Perhaps Harry is on the phone in the phone booth. He raises his voice to his lover because he is angry at the lover, even though another client in the next phone booth is having a conversation with his six-year-old. The fact that there is another client in the other phone booth does not even register with Harry. Perhaps Harry does not care about keeping his room clean and tidy. The fact that this is expected of him at Sunshine Coast does not matter to him. Why should it? He has not paid attention to policies or laws or family requests for many years. Even if his roommate complains at Harry’s mess, it often doesn’t matter to Harry because he is in his Bubble. When you live in a Bubble, nothing outside the bubble really matters.

If Harry continues to act this way, he’ll soon discover that other clients want little to do with him. If he doesn’t change— doesn’t learn to connect with the other clients— he’ll likely be miserable in treatment. Rather than change, he’ll probably start inventing all sorts of nonsense to get himself out: other clients are jerks, counsellors are useless, and so on. But almost always, Harry learns to connect. The same requirement is demanded of the clients around Harry. They have to learn to connect with him. If they don’t, they’ll run screaming out the front gate.

Clients at Sunshine Coast learn to pay attention to others and what others are feeling, especially in small group. They discover that they share a great deal with others, that they are accepted warts and all.

In short, they begin to connect with others by seeing them as suffering human beings. All this effort helps Harry to connect with other clients, and other clients figure out how to connect with Harry.

Part Two — The Secret to Connecting with Others

The great thinker Martin Buber gave us the key to good relationships. Buber said that we have to treat others as valuable and worthwhile human beings, what he called the “I-Thou” relationship.

Treating another person as worthwhile and important usually takes practice. How many times have you seen one person treat another with disrespect, which then leads to an angry reaction from the person insulted? The justification is, of course, ‘well, he started it’. If you are an alumni of Sunshine Coast, you may have been reminded by your counsellor that simply because someone treats you disrespectfully is not a reason to treat them disrespectfully. You are still the author of how you react. But this is a tough one.

The blessing of learning to connect with others using ‘I-Thou’ is that you will feel better. Life will be more rewarding. You lose the feeling that you are an outcast, that you are different than others. You gain a sense of belonging, of fitting in, of being part of.

These benefits are precisely why connecting with others is so important for recovery. The great psychiatrist Viktor Frankl said that the reason addicts use substances is because they have little connection with others. Because of this, life has little personal meaning. But those who connect with others at a deep level discover that life is exciting and meaningful.

Part Three — Dating

Connecting with an intimate partner is another type of relationship. The key is to have two healthy equals come together in a relationship.

Because most in early recovery are filled with guilt and shame, they may not think that they are worth much. One client told us the reason he dated certain women in bars is because he didn’t think a healthy woman would want to be around him.

Cathy Patterson-Sterling, Director of Family Services at Sunshine Coast, offers an example of a doomed dating relationship: Rescuing a damsel in distress. It is interesting how many clients and alumni seek out someone to rescue. They tell us that they are doing ‘good’, helping the less fortunate. But if we operate according to principle of equality in relationships, we can see that rescuing the damsel is not a partnership among equals.

Similar to rescuing the damsel is the notorious practice at 12-step meetings of ‘thirteenth stepping’, another doomed connection. A person new in the fellowship is vulnerable. Another member sees this and acts as if he or she (yes, it goes both ways) can help the vulnerable member. Of course, the older AA member is simply using the vulnerable person to satisfy his or her lust or loneliness. Using another person for your benefit is hardly a relationship of equals.

Another example is that some in recovery go on dates, and they don’t even really like the person. To use a heterosexual example, they date a beautiful woman and like to be seen in public with her. Other guys stare at his date, which makes the fellow feel good about himself. This, too, is using another person for their benefit.

Some use the ‘victim’ role to attract dates. Being needy is attractive to those who need someone to rescue. Obviously, this is not a good basis for a relationship.

Part Four — Connecting with Others Helps Connect with Yourself

It is one of those things about human beings that how they make sense of themselves has a lot to do with how others treat them.

This is one of the main dynamics behind group therapy. How you treat others in the group—how you connect with them—will likely determine how they treat you. Members of a group learn quickly that if you don’t show up on time for group, interrupt others, focus only when the topic shifts to something you are interested in, and so on, then you will not form good connections with others. When other group members see your behavior, they conclude that you have no interest in them and so won’t bother trying pursuing a connection.

If other people continue to avoid making connections with the person, he’ll likely be more convinced than ever that he is unworthy of caring. And so, he’ll just keep behaving as he does. It’s a vicious circle.

On the other hand, if you approach others with the attitude that they are important, you generally find that you are well treated. And based on this constant feedback, you will likely come to believe that you are a good person, decent person. And, of course, being a good person will likely help you to continue to treat others well.

Dr. Ken Hart, one of Canada’s foremost addiction researchers, reports new research on overcoming shame. Studies have found that the experience of having someone forgive you actually helps you to forgive yourself. And forgiving yourself is one of the key factors in overcoming feelings of shame. In this example, you make sense of yourself based in great measure by how another treats you. This is why helping out in the community often makes someone feel better. To use an extreme example, let’s say an alcoholic killed a child while driving intoxicated. We’ve discovered that one way to help alleviate guilt is for the person to volunteer with kids in the community or create a foundation to help underprivileged kids or some other activity. Because of this effort, the alcoholic will get feedback from others, likely positive. This feedback often helps the alcoholic in the process to forgive himself.

By Geoff Thompson, MA RCC
Program Director
Sunshine Coast Health Center

The main thing about alcohol and drugs is that they alter our states of consciousness. As obvious as this is, it is amazing that few people bother even talking about it.

What we read and hear about is that people use because of depression, anger, problems in the family, problems at work, trauma, and so on. In reality, there are many ways of dealing with these problems. The vast majority people don’t turn to drugs for relief. In fact, they cannot imagine that getting drunk or loaded regularly is even a reasonable possibility.

When we do addiction research, we discover that addicts use drugs when then are sad…but they also use drugs when they are happy. They use drugs when they are angry…but they also use when they are not angry. They use drugs when they are depressed…but they also use drugs when they are not depressed. And so on. Lots of people who suffer from addiction grew up in a chaotic family, and lots of people who suffer from addiction grew up in a stable family. We also know from research that those with addiction problems struggle with boredom and loneliness and the feeling that life just isn’t all that interesting or exciting without the substance and the lifestyle that goes with it.

We seem to talk about everything except the obvious: some people take substances because they like the feeling they get from being intoxicated. Whatever this feeling is, it is more appealing than being clean and sober.

Most addiction treatment programs do not talk about the drug experience. They argue that talking about the high promotes drug use. Others don’t talk about it because, frankly, they are not familiar with what the experts have reported. Still others think that it is just plain deviant. But at Sunshine Coast Health Center, we believe that it provides a clue into why intoxication is so appealing for the addict. It offers a clue to the drug’s power, beyond just calling it a disease. 

So what is this altered state of consciousness? What makes it appealing? This month we’ll have a look at what the experts and addicts tell us about the experience of intoxication.

This is very important information for recovery. Understanding the appeal of intoxication helps us understand what recovery is all about.

Part One — William James and Making Sense of Mysteries

Alumni of Sunshine Coast Health Center may recall workshops discussion on William James’ book, The Varieties of Religious Experience, which had a profound influence on Bill Wilson, the driving force behind the creation of Alcoholics Anonymous. 

James was one of the most influential thinkers in the last one hundred years. He was fascinated by how the human mind works, including different states of consciousness. He even studied various drug-induced altered states, convinced that such knowledge would help us understand what it meant to be human. 

Intoxication by sniffing nitrous oxide (laughing gas) provided James with one example of why drugs are so powerful. When someone is high on laughing gas, says James, the person gets a “tremendously exciting sense of an intense metaphysical experience.” What he means by this is that the person seems to find answers to the mysteries of life, the big complicated questions. How do we explain good and evil? What is the meaning of my life? Intoxicated, the person with spontaneity and ease sees “depth beneath depth” of insight. “Normal consciousness offers no parallel.” In fact as the high goes away, the person “is left staring vacantly.”

About alcohol, he talks of a sense of “reconciliation [of seeming opposites]…which seems silly to lookers-on” but which is a key part of its temptation. He describes, what he calls, this reconciliation of opposites from personal experience. While intoxicated, James says that he wrote down opposites—God and devil, good and evil, life and death, ecstasy and horror. He said that they came together with “infinite rationality,” that he could see the logic that unified them.

Twenty years later, James would write that the power of alcohol is its power to make the imbiber feel that he has touched a higher reality. Grass is greener, jokes are funnier, and even total strangers can be instant friends.

James was fully aware that sober people would dismiss any idea that a drunk could find any profound meaning while intoxicated. But James was serious about this idea. The altered state of consciousness allowed the drunk to be conscious of a reality that sober people were blind to.

James had no doubt why nitrous oxide and alcohol had such great appeal. Imagine the feeling of firmly understanding some of the mysteries of the universe, of seeing some of the hidden ways in which you, me, and the world are connected. Sobriety, in comparison, can be rather lifeless and boring.

Part Two — Freedom to be Yourself

Here are some things that addicts said to researchers about what it’s like to be high on crack cocaine:

“I felt like Superman. I got to move mountains.”

“It was the feeling that I had been searching for.”

“It’s not like the personal joy of climbing a mountain…and you finally make it to the top. It’s not like finishing a…marathon…you got that super high, that rush or whatever. The high from crack is higher, more intense than those feelings.”

“It’s like the world world, life is beautiful. I feel great. I have a lot of ideas. My mind just opens tremendously. My mind is like really fast and I think better. I feel good. I feel life is wonderful. I can do anything.”

These are quite amazing statements. The researcher, Joaquin Trujillo from the US Department of State, was interested in understanding what the appeal of a crack cocaine high is. He concluded that crack gave the user the feeling that he or she could be human.

What he meant by this is that the addict had the freedom to be him/herself. They described this feeling of being free from shame, free from the pressures of responsibility. Some described this freedom of being “numb” to negative and uncomfortable feelings.

At Sunshine Coast we often talk about being true to the self (so does Alcoholics Anonymous). This freedom to be oneself, to feel comfortable in your own skin, to feel comfortable in the world, is what many people tell us is the appeal of drugs. 

Part Three — Connecting with the Universe

Feeling at one with the universe—this sounds like some bad Hollywood movie about the 1960s, with everyone talking about cosmic consciousness.

Psychologist Jonathan Diamond describes our desire for drugs this way: it is “not only to escape pain that humanity turns to drugs, it is for communion with God.” And this idea was, of course, Bill Wilson’s brilliant insight into why alcoholics drank — and became the baseline for Alcoholics Anonymous.

And it is also the conclusion that the Government of Canada arrived at in its famous 1971 Royal Commission on the Use of Non-Medical Drugs in Canada. Here’s a paragraph from the interim report:

“Modern drug use would definitely seem to be related…to the collapse of religious values…. [T]here is definitely the sense of identification with something larger, something to which one belongs as part of the human race.”

Even if this statement did not come from the federal government, it’s a remarkable conclusion on why people use drugs.

Furthermore, former clients of Sunshine Coast know from their time with us that this is one of the key conclusions that the Nobel-Prize winning addict-playwright, Eugene O’Neill, also came to.

Being at one with the universe means that you feel connected. You don’t feel as if you are an outcast. You have that wonderful feeling of belonging. And if you have the feeling that you belong, then you must also have the feeling that you are important because this is where you are meant to be.

Part Four — Sunshine Coast Clients

in this article we’ve been examining how scholars have looked at the experience of being intoxicated. Each example provided in this article showed that addiction is powerful because of the positive feelings that drugs provide.

At some point during treatment at Sunshine Coast, clients are asked to recall a time when they were high or drunk. Then clients are asked what they got from the drug experience. Of course, a typical answer was, “nothing!”, however, staff learned to be skeptical of such a response because one of the truths about human beings is that everyone does everything for a reason.

When we talk deeply to clients about the drug experience, we always find that drug use was not merely escaping pain. There was some big payoff. Some typical things we hear from clients are:

“This is the way I was meant to feel.”

“It gave me a break from always having to do things for other people. Got rid of all the stress and worry, so I could do what I wanted.”

“I could think about things that fascinated me.”

“I loved how fast I could think…I could make sense of things.”

“I loved listening to music stoned. It filled me up.”

Conclusion

One of the keys to recovery is to have these experiences that make life worth living, but without the drugs. And that takes time and practice. There can be no sitting back, expecting that life will somehow magically come alive; people in recovery have to work at it.

The thing for people in recovery to remember is that all this is and was inside you from the start. You just needed the drugs to bring it out. Now, in recovery, you have to find a more natural way. But, as people with good recovery will tell you, it gets better.

By Geoff Thompson, MA CCC
Program Director
Sunshine Coast Health Center

We are relational beings, which means that we were born to live with others. The evidence for this seems overwhelming. Some psychologists believe that we are ‘hardwired’ for relationships. Our brains are designed to be with other people. A famous psychologist, Roy Baumeister, argues that the reason human children take so long to become independent—compared with any other animal—is that they have to learn how to live with others.

As you know, one of the worst dynamics of addiction is that it isolates the user. Loneliness is a feeling that all addicts have. This isn’t just the feeling of boredom because you have no one to go out with on a Friday night; it is a deep and intrusive feeling that you are separated from the rest of the world. As one client put it, “I used to go out on the street and see people smiling and wonder how they could be happy.” Of course, using drugs usually gets rid of the feeling, at least temporarily.

So, one of the keys to recovery is to feel connected with others. This is a human thing, a natural yearning of individuals. It’s a big part of what gives us meaning in life, what makes us happy.

The old Greek philosopher, Aristotle, said that without friends no one would choose to live, even if he had money and health and fame. We know that one of the worst punishments for people is to deprive them of the community of others (ostracism). Being ostracized is considered the worst punishment. In China, for instance, someone who goes against the prescribed behaviors is often ostracized. Posters with the person’s face and name tell people in the community not to talk to the person. In some religions, being excommunicated is a grave punishment. And a few centuries ago, being banished from the land was considered a fate worse than death.

Being shunned by others or excluded from a group increases activity in the part of your brain called the anterior cingulate cortex. This is the part of your brain that is also stimulated when you feel physical pain. So some psychologists have argued that when you feel shunned, you feel the same “emotional unpleasantness” that you endure when you are in physical pain.

And psychologists have discovered—to their great surprise—that many computer users feel ostracized when they are ignored in chat rooms. The name they’ve given this is “cyber-ostracism.”

Psychologist Bruce Alexander observed that addicts need to hang out together. Because they have distanced their clean and sober family and friends, they find a sense of belonging with other users—not an ideal situation but better than nothing.

An interesting fact is that we know from research that when we feel loved and supported, our self-esteem rises. On the other hand, if we don’t feel support of others, then our self-esteem is low. This is useful knowledge for counselors because if someone tells us that he has low self-esteem, he is also telling us that he does not feel connected with others. He’s missing an essential part of what he needs for recovery.

Part One: Group Therapy at Sunshine Coast

If you are an alumni of Sunshine Coast, you know that we use a lot of group therapy. There is a reason for this. Addicts tend to be lonely, feeling as if they don’t belong. And this, of course, means they have low self-esteem. The idea of using group, rather than relying exclusively on individual therapy is, in part, to help clients in early recovery regain a sense of belonging, to realize that there is nothing wrong with them, that they are not different. And a nice by-product of this is that the client’s self-esteem improves.  

As well as connecting with others, group therapy is also a good way to get to know yourself. It is one of those peculiar things about humans that they gain most of their self awareness not from figuring out things for themselves but by getting feedback from others. Some of you may have learned about the Johari Window. According to this psychology model, we are blind to some parts of ourselves; others, however, are not. They see things that we don’t know about ourselves, and group therapy provides the opportunity for us to learn about this blind side.

But group therapy is more important than simply learning about our blind side. Irvin Yalom, the guru of group therapy, says that you can know yourself only by getting input from other people. Who you think you are as a person is based in great part on how others treat you. (By the way, that’s one of the main reasons why those who feel loved have good self-esteem.)

Part Two: Sense of belonging

The internet has become part of our natural need to feel related to others. Those entering college report that they spend from one to five or more hours each week on social networking sites, such as Facebook. If you understand the importance of relationships to human beings, then it’s really no surprise why these sites are so popular, not to mention text messaging.

Eugene O’Neill, the great addict-writer, said that the reason he got loaded was because he never felt a sense of belonging in the world. He never felt part of… until he got drunk. His solution was to find a sense of belonging, to feel part of something, but without the need for the booze. Although he knew nothing of AA or addiction treatment, he figured out one of the key dynamics of recovery—it’s important to feel a sense of belonging.

If you were a client at Sunshine Coast, you remember we talked constantly about getting a support group. Many people in early recovery don’t pay as much attention to a support group as they should. But if you realize that this is a natural human thing that is necessary for happiness, it might help you understand just how powerful being supported is—and why it’s worth the effort to find a group of people. Those who have support networks have people who can listen to them and treat them as important people. The sense of being listened to is important for everyone but particularly for those who are in pain.

Part Three: Feeling connected with others

At Sunshine Coast, we define addiction with the great psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, who said that addiction was a response to living a live that was not particularly comfortable, which seemed to have no direction, in which you felt you did not really fit in. Frankl called this living a life that had no personal meaning.

One of the important things to recognize from Frankl is that addiction is serving a specific purpose for the addict. It allows him to exist in a world in which he feels he does not belong. In other words, addiction is a substitute for living a meaningful life.

The solution to addiction was, for Frankl, to live a life that feels personally meaningful. If you live this life, then the addiction serves no purpose. And this is one of the things we’ve been discovering about recovery. Those who are living lives where they feel are worthwhile, where they have good self-esteem, have little interest in getting loaded—the drugs no long serve a purpose.

If we had to pick one reason why alumni of Sunshine Coast slipped or relapsed after treatment, it would be hard to find a better one than difficulty in relationships. The alumni who have had slips often call us up. Inevitably, what triggered the relapse was a situation in which they no longer felt comfortable in a relationship (or they were still feeling isolated and alone).

Part Four: The good and the bad of relationships

In this article we’ve been talking this month about relationships and their importance for living the good life. And when you are living a good life, one where you feel a sense of belonging, then drugs lose their power.

But not all relationships are necessarily healthy ones.

We have a natural need to find a sense of belonging. Studies of the modern ‘gangs’ have shown that they are appealing only for those who are lost or who don’t feel they fit in with regular society. Around the world, terrorists find a ready supply of disciples in third-world ghettos and among the displaced. So, we can find a sense of belonging in family and community or we can find a sense of belonging with gangs or fanatical movements.

One of the sad things about gangs is they demand that the members follow a code or set of rules of behavior. Many gang members have to go against their values or beliefs in order to be part of the group. We’ve talked before on the online program about people who give up who they are—what they value and believe—in order to fit in with a group.  This is a recipe for suffering. Of course, it tells us how important it is to find a sense of belonging. But it’s one of those sad things about people that we can be so desperate that we are willing to give up our identity to belong. 

Another example of this is abusive relationships. When the fear of being alone is greater than the fear of abuse, many people stay in abusive relationships. We’ve seen over the years that many clients stay in relationships that are not healthy. They seem afraid of standing up and saying, ‘This isn’t working out’. And we’ve seen over the years that some clients have many relationships on the go at the same time. Their thinking seems to be, ‘If this one doesn’t work out, I always have another one ready to step in’. What this tells us is just how great the fear of being alone really is.

Geoff Thompson, MA, CCC

Geoff Thompson, Program Director for Sunshine Coast Health Centre, talks about the importance of connecting with others on a deep human level rather than just on a superficial level.

Geoff Thompson, MA, CCC

Geoff Thompson, Program Director for Sunshine Coast Health Centre, talks about Ernest Hemingway’s catch phrase, “… grace under pressure” and facing struggles in life heroically rather than as a victim.

By Geoff Thompson - MA, CCC

This year is a milestone for Sunshine Coast Health Center. The most obvious improvement is a new building. But the most exciting is a new program that promises to significantly improve the help we offer clients.

Technically, the program is based on meaning-centered therapy (MCT), which was developed by Canadian psychologist Paul Wong. Wong earned his PhD in experimental psychology, but 40 years of research and counseling convinced him that we are more than just chemicals in our brains and our behavior. His essential idea is that some people are vulnerable to addiction because they feel that life isn’t very exciting or comfortable — that it is not personally meaningful. They feel outcasts in the world; they feel they do not belong. Drugs and the drug lifestyle allow them to feel a sense of vitality in their otherwise meaningless, monotonous, and boring life. 

One counsellor I know describes the addict as the kid who is peering into the candy shop window, hoping that someone will let him in. MCT helps them open the door.

This therapy is unique in addiction treatment. Typically, most programs are designed in this sequence: help the addict to quit drugs, deal with the inevitable relapses, deal with personal issues such as anger, and, at some vague point in the future, help them figure out how to live a meaningful life.

Sounds logical, but research is showing that this approach may be wrong-headed. Based on long-term studies of addicts in recovery, researcher William White has shown, for example, that abstinence is the “side effect” of living a meaningful life, not the first step in recovery.

This does not mean that MCT dismisses the biological, psychological, and social components of addiction. Far from it. But it does argue that addressing how to live a meaningful life allows them to overcome their biology and environment.

Most people define the addict based on drug use. But a more useful interpretation is to see the addict as a person who does not feel comfortable day after day, month after month, and year after year without the use of some mood-altering substance or behavior.

This feeling usually starts early. Eric Clapton begins his autobiography with this comment: “From an early age…I began to get the feeling that I was different.” This feeling of being different, being an outcast, not fitting in, not part of, is typical of those who fall prey to addiction. Clapton would soon discover the relief provided by alcohol and drugs. Similarly, the Nobel-Prize winning alcoholic playwright, Eugene O’Neill, told us why he suffered since youth: “I will always be a stranger who never feels at home…who can never belong.” Like Clapton, O’Neill would look to booze to overcome this feeling.

Scientists at the University of California and elsewhere are beginning to put a neurobiological basis to this feeling. The evidence suggests that the things that satisfy ‘normal’ people are not enough for those who are vulnerable to addiction. Addiction experts were never quite sure whether this feeling of being an outcast preceded addiction or was the result of it; however, the evidence is mounting for the former.

Interpreting drug use as a method to overcome a dull and boring life and feel a sense of vitality is not a new idea. In fact, it’s likely the oldest interpretation of why we use drugs. In 500 BC, for instance, the Greek playwright, Euripedes, wrote The Bacchants, a cautionary tale to those naïve enough to believe we can defeat drunkenness. Alcohol had, warned Euripedes, the power of a god. Our thirst for alcohol is our thirst to overcome our dull and boring and painful lives and feel a sense of vitality.

Two giants of 20th century psychology, William James and Carl Jung, argued the same point. James called being drunk “a variety of religious experience”; Jung said that the alcoholic’s thirst for alcohol is his or her thirst for spirituality, for feeling part of a greater reality.

Bill Wilson, the driving force behind the creation of Alcoholics Anonymous, was convinced that the alcoholic is someone “who is trying to get his religion out of a bottle.” Alcoholism was not so much an escape from life as it was the attempt to satisfy the urge to live a more energized and meaningful life. 

Meaning-centered therapy is the practical application of these ideas. It has been applied in geriatrics, occupational therapy, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, and even workplace efficiency with good results. Sunshine Coast Health Center will be the first to apply it to addictions.

Many believe that it may well become a dominant approach for the 21st century. In July 2006, an international conference in Vancouver provided strong evidence that the addict is likely a person whose life is feels life is not very comfortable, who feels an outcast. The 100 speakers, from psychologists to recovering addicts to physicians, linked addiction to a lack of meaningful living. Even the pure scientists, such as renowned neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, put a biological basis for this in the brain.

MCT has other benefits. It is a dignified and respectful therapy. There is no confrontational counseling style to break through ‘denial’, no getting mad at clients, no ordering them around, and no punishing clients for breaking rules. Although such practices are the norm in almost all treatment centers, we’ve known for years that they don’t help recovery. In fact, research has confirmed that they are often abusive and can harm clients.

Although MCT is not a “12-step based” treatment, it is the therapy most closely aligned to the therapeutic elements of the 12-step program, known as its “spiritual principles.” These principles—gratitude, forgiveness, and so on—are fundamental parts of MCT.

About the Author

Geoff Thompson, MA, is the Program Director at Sunshine Coast Health Center, a private addiction treatment facility for adult men. His book, A Long Night’s Journey into Day, explores Eugene O’Neill’s life to uncover the truth of addiction and recovery.

Geoff Thompson, Program Director at Sunshine Coast Health Center, explains how addiction can affect individuals from all walks of life. Geoff discusses a feeling of “not fitting in, of being different” that many individuals with addictions share.

By Geoff Thompson, M.A., CCC

People in recovery seem to talk constantly about the importance of a support group. One of the saddest things we hear from some in early recovery is that they think having a support group is a sign of personal weakness—‘I should be able to do this on my own.’ But it has nothing to do with weakness. In fact, being around supportive people is a natural human need, necessary for happiness. This month we’ll explore this idea that recovery is easier when we feel a sense of community.

In the opening sentence of his autobiography, Eric Clapton tells us, “From an early age…I began to get the feeling that I was different.” Clapton would soon turn to drugs and alcohol. The addict-playwright, Eugene O’Neill, described himself as someone who always felt that he was “a stranger who never feels at home…who can never belong.” O’Neill, like Clapton, became an addict.

These are typical descriptions of those who will eventually succumb to addiction. Experts have been doing a lot of research trying to figure out why one person who tries a drug does not turn into an addict, while another does. We’ve discovered that those who feel somehow different from most people, somehow separate from others, not ‘part of’, no sense of really belonging in the world … are vulnerable to addiction.

If you have struggled with drugs and alcohol, this may make a lot of sense. Think back to your life. Did you feel you were somehow different from others? Did you experience some trauma, making you feel that the world is a dangerous place where you must always be on guard? Or perhaps you were shy. Perhaps you were teased. But it doesn’t have to be a ‘negative’ condition. Maybe you were the star athlete or the smartest kid in school or came from the richest family. If others put you on a pedestal, you can also feel that you are different, that you’re not like other people.

One addictions counselor describes the addict as the kid peering into the candy shop window, hoping that someone will let him in. Not a bad description.

A tactic that most people who lack a sense of belonging use is to search out others who also feel they are different, who feel they do not really belong. It seems that feeling alone for any length of time is extremely uncomfortable. So people who feel they are ‘outcasts’ often hang around other ‘outcasts’ because they at least find some consolation.

The Brain Chemistry of Support

Alumni of the program at Sunshine Coast may recall a talk on Drugs & Your Brain, in which we described a remarkable thing. Being around supportive people actually increases a chemical in your brain called serotonin, known as the ‘happy drug.’ When you have serotonin flowing, you feel better. This is what many antidepressants (the SSRIs: Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) do for you, by the way.

Of course, the reverse is also true. If you lock yourself away or if you feel shy at parties or if you feel you don’t really fit in at an AA meeting, then your serotonin levels drop (what scientists call low serotonin turnover).

In addition to supportive people increasing serotonin levels, many scientists now believe that we are “hard-wired” to be around others. What they mean by this is that human evolution seems to have designed us to be with others. Roy Baumeister, one of the great social psychologists, gave a talk in Toronto a few weeks ago arguing that human children take so long to develop because they have to learn (biologically and psychologically) how to live with other human beings.

Recovery and Connecting with Others

There is a video from Hazelden Treatment Center, the most famous addiction treatment center in the world, which talks about the necessity of connecting with others at a deep emotional level.

The fellow giving the talk in the video is a Roman Catholic priest, Steve Little. Although Rev. Little does not say so, he borrows an idea from a very famous thinker, Martin Buber. Buber wrote a little book called, I and Thou, which became a bestseller. The title refers to a deep connection with another person. When you are truly interested in another, you feel a connection: I-You. In contrast, if you don’t have this connection, you treat another as an object: I-It. The ‘You’ has been replaced with ‘It.’ This is how addicts in active addiction treat others. Think of how many people in addiction used others as objects: ‘Hey, would you give me a ride to town?’ Or they pretend to be interested in another when actually they just want something from them: ‘My you’re looking good today; can I bum a smoke?’ Or they dismiss another human being without even knowing anything about him: ‘He’s a jerk.’

Buber says that if we do not form a real connection with others, then we lose out. Life is dull and unsatisfying. But perhaps the greatest misery of having no deep relationship with others is loneliness. And as we all know, loneliness is one of the worst things about addiction. So one of the keys to overcome loneliness, one of the keys to recovery, is to start having genuine encounters with others.

A Lesson from Eric Clapton

After his plunge into sex, drugs, and rock-blues, Eric Clapton sobered up at age 42. He talks about the two times he went to a residential treatment center and the new way of life he found in recovery. Throughout, he had people supporting him.

Looking back on the last decade of his life (he’s now 62), Clapton writes: “The last ten years have been the best of my life. They have been filled with love and a deep sense of satisfaction, not because of what I feel I have achieved, but more because of what has been bestowed on me. I have a loving family….”

He goes on to mention his belief that he is a teacher and a healer through his music. But it is very clear that this new feeling comes from deep emotional connections with others. Once he began appreciating the others in his life, “full of love and laughter,” he could finally say, “I am very happy….”

There’s a lesson in this. Clapton confirms what we have known for millennia: human beings need to live in a community where they feel a sense of belonging, where they are part of, where they do not feel different, where they are not alone.

How Sunshine Coast Alumni Stay Connected

When clients leave Sunshine Coast, they are given the contact information of a former client. For clients, having an alumni contact is just one of many “tools” that they have out of their recovery toolkit. But like any tool, it’s useless if clients do not use it.

As clients say goodbye to their peers in their days at the center, the most common thing said is how grateful the client are to their peers. “I would never have made it without you guys.” Despite all the petty bickering and little conflicts, the connection clients make with their peers has a huge, lasting impact.

Many alumni make a special effort to meet up with other alumni when they travel to different cities. They tell us that these connections help them in their recovery.

And they even tell us that when they discover an alumnus is struggling, they find a sense of purpose in offering their support. Perhaps recovery works like this: Yesterday, Harry felt down and Tom lifted his spirits; today, Tom feels down, and Harry helps him.  

Here are some comments that alumni have told us about the help they have received from each other and from staying in touch with Sunshine Coast:

“I passed along the online support topic to an alumnus who was struggling; he said it was helpful.”

“I’ve been trying to arrange an alumni aftercare group. My phone is always ringing. If nothing else, this contacting people will keep me clean.”

“I wake up each Sunday and call peers. Even if they slip I call and offer my support.”

“Calling Sunshine Coast every once in a while helps keep me connected.”

“Darren (Sunshine Coast Alumni Coordinator) keeps me centered because he contacts me when I fill out the online program and aftercare workbook.”

About the Author

Geoff Thompson, MA, is the Program Director at Sunshine Coast Health Center, a private addiction treatment facility for adult men. His book, A Long Night’s Journey into Day, explores Eugene O’Neill’s life to uncover the truth of addiction and recovery.