By Daniel Jordan
General Manager
Sunshine Coast Health Center
For the families we are privileged to serve at Sunshine Coast Health Center, starting residential drug rehabilitation can be a roller coaster of emotions. Starting treatment is really about wholesale change since, by the time we get involved, addiction has progressed to the point where everything our clients hold dear - family, friends, health, and home - is in jeopardy. For clients and their families alike, addiction treatment can be symbolized as the light at the end of a very dark tunnel.
Starting Treatment Can Be Overwhelming
Unfortunately, however, clients may be hopeful but can also be awash with conflicting emotions, particularly fear. Regardless of how dysfunctional their addict lifestyle has become, at least it’s familiar. Judging by the questions we get, nothing about treatment is familiar. Where am I going? Who will I be sharing a room with? How long am I going for? Can I use the telephone? These are basic questions but most clients at this point in their recovery are in no shape to go to our website and research our program beforehand.
In 2008, Sunshine Coast Health Center managed a retention rate of 89.41 percent for clients who were admitted to treatment. So our internal research gives families pretty good odds that their loved one will complete treatment.
Another piece of good news is that the majority of the 1 in 10 that did not complete treatment * left in the first week. Therefore, if your loved one makes it through the first week the actual likelihood of completing treatment at Sunshine Coast Health Center is closer to 93 percent.
The third piece of good news is that there are steps that family members can take to make the odds even better. By following some basic recommendations, family members can actually help keep their loved ones in treatment.
(*) Note: includes clients who left due to either leaving against staff advice (ASA), at staff request due to a dischargeable offense (ASR), leaving without notice (AWOL), or due to medical complications (MD).
Why Some Clients Want to Leave Treatment Early
First off, it’s important to understand why some clients want to leave treatment early. It is easy to dismiss a client’s decision to leave treatment early as nothing more than ‘not being ready’ or an overwhelming desire to get drunk or high. However, as is often the case with addiction, it’s not that simple. Most clients in early recovery struggle with ambivalence. Early recovery offers the promise of better days, the expectations of significant others, the uncertainty of a life in recovery, and the daunting task of cleaning up the huge mess that awaits them back home. Usually, when confronted by reality, the automatic response for addicts is to escape with drugs, alcohol, gambling, or sex. In treatment, however, that is not an option.
Clients Often Call Home Before They Leave Treatment
There is really no prevailing behaviour for clients who decide to leave treatment early. Some don’t hesitate to make their intentions clear the minute they arrive, while some clients keep it such a secret that staff don’t know until they find a note on a pillow the next morning. Somewhere in between these two extremes is the client who calls home first before leaving treatment. If you are one of those unfortunate family members who gets that call in the middle of the night, it is important to remember that you may be the first person who is aware of your loved one’s decision. Staff may be busy performing their duties, unaware that a client in their midst is moments away from ‘making a run for it’.
Why Clients Call Home Before Leaving Treatment
If we take a moment to reflect, it’s actually a huge opportunity for positive change when clients call home before they leave. After all, if someone was really intent on leaving, they wouldn’t complicate matters by calling home first. That phone call can represent one of two things: (1) they don’t have the resources to leave or (2) they are seeking approval before they leave treatment. Either way, you as a family member are far from being a helpless victim to your loved one’s intentions.
Three Possible Outcomes for The Same Scenario
To learn how to effectively deal with a loved one who calls home and is intent on leaving treatment early, one scenario is presented with four different scenarios based on how you, the family member, respond to your loved one.
Scenario: A client calls home late one night wants to leave treatment. You, the family member, have a telephone conversation with Cathy Patterson-Sterling, Director of Family Services, the following day:
Family Member: “Hi there. Keith called me last night and told me that his stay there wasn’t how he thought it was going to be. He complained that he just can’t relate to the other clients there and he just can’t imagine having to stay there for 6 more weeks.”
Cathy: “Oh, that’s unfortunate. Now, remember what we talked about while Keith was on his way to the treatment center? I pointed out that individuals in their first week of treatment have to contend with unfamiliar surroundings and strangers. To complicate matters, they are also going through withdrawal and don’t have their drug of choice to fall back on, so they will often try to think of a reason to leave treatment. Do you remember our conversation?”
Family Member: “Yes, I remember that.”
Cathy: “Right. That is why we reviewed all of the excuses that you could expect were going to come up and one of them was that about the “wrong peer group”. So, when Keith told you he wanted to leave, how did you respond?”
Response A
Family Member: “Well, I thought about what you said but then I thought what’s the point of Keith staying in treatment if he’s just going to be hiding out in his room the whole time he’s there? So I booked a flight for him.”
Conclusion to Response A: The client packs his bags and leaves treatment. The family member pays for his flight. Keith flies home.
Response B
Family Member: “Well, I thought about what you said and I told him that I wasn’t going to pay for his cab or his airfare to come home. Besides, I told him, if he does come back he won’t be staying here and I won’t be paying his car insurance either. Then I hung up.”
Conclusion to Response C: The client, realizing that he’s got nowhere else to go, decides to stay, at least for as long as he can figure out another option. Treatment center staff remain unaware of the situation.
Response C
Family Member: “Well, I thought about what you said, so I immediately hung up the phone, then called the treatment center and talked to one of the night staff there.”
Conclusion to Response B: A counsellor was called in to talk to Keith. It turns out that Keith was homesick for his daughter. Keith feels he has not been much of a father due to his preoccupation with his addiction and was overwhelmed with guilt. The counsellor was able to talk Keith through his overwhelming emotional state. Keith decided to stay in treatment for at least a week and try to work through his feelings of guilt with his assigned counsellor and peer group.
Response D
Family Member: “Well I thought about what you said and reassured him that he was probably just going through an adjustment period. I also told him that there was no way he could come home until after he completes treatment. Then I hung up and called the treatment center.”
Conclusion to Response D: Client feels he has no other option but to stay in treatment. Staff are aware of the situation with a conclusion similar to Response C. However, this time the client, realizing that he is not welcome at home until he completes treatment, commits to staying for the duration of treatment.
Conclusion
Obviously, conversations of this nature are not always as cut and dry as what was presented here. Remember, if a loved one calls home and tells you that he wants to leave treatment, it’s because he needs your money, your approval, or assurance that life can return back to the way it used to be before treatment.
Regardless of the rationale, you are not powerless in the face of apparently dire circumstances.
Furthermore, taking a firm line with your loved one and partnering with the staff in crisis situations is critical. So, the minute you hang up the phone with your loved one call the treatment center for support. Don’t assume that staff know about your family member’s intentions. Finally, don’t worry about being a nuisance. Typically, these types of calls happen late at night when clients are not busy engaged in the program or have the support of their peers. Don’t worry about it being too late at night to call. Staff are here, 24/7 and are prepared for these little emergencies.
For more information read the Sunshine Coast Health Center pamphlet, Contact Guidelines for Family Members.