“In order to change, one must first assume responsibility.” ~ Irvin Yalom

“How can we learn to know ourselves? Never by reflection but by action.” ~ Viktor Frankl

In the first instalment of this 4-part series, Geoff emphasizes the important of committing to change. In his years working with clients in residential addiction treatment, Geoff has observed that clients often have personal stories that excuse them from taking action towards achieving their dreams and desires. For example, many clients want to be sure that going back to school is going to pan out. They may rationalize their inaction by suggesting the possibility that they may not end up with a job after completing their degree or that they may lose interest in their studies after a few years. Geoff has found that many clients have been thinking about going back to school for 5 years or more without having committed to a single course, never mind a degree.

In part 2 of of this 4-part series on taking action in recovery, Geoff Thompson talks about the struggle of taking action in recovery. It’s human nature that we prefer talking about or planning for change than actually doing it (think of Nike’s commercial, ‘Just Do It.’). We often imagine this type of avoidance as a form of laziness, like watching TV when we know we should be, for example, shovelling snow. However, we can just as easily avoid doing what needs to be done by doing something else admirable or what society thinks is time well spent. Geoff calls this ‘action as avoidance’ in that we keep ourselves busy to justify not doing that which is uncomfortable. For example, many men needlessly work late night after night while their home life is in tatters. While hard work is an admirable quality, it is often used as a way to avoid the discomfort of, for example, reconnecting with family. So, procrastination isn’t necessarily sitting around watching TV – we can procrastinate while still taking action. For example, does the lawn really need to be mowed tonight or, truthfully, are you just using it as an excuse not to go a meeting? Those in recovery need to ask themselves if what they are doing is contributing to their recovery or living a fulfilling life or just a way of avoiding making substantial, meaningful change in their life.

In this 3rd instalment, Geoff clarifies what he means by taking action in recovery. Psychologists tell us that you can learn lots of things in treatment but if you don’t put it into action it doesn’t help all that much. However, action that is meant to keep clients from getting bored or to distract themselves so they don’t have time to think about drugs or alcohol is only a short-term solution. In other words, it is much more useful to live life and take action with a purpose. What is our purpose? Geoff suggests that one of our purposes is to be true to ourselves, to live authentically. We all need to spend our time doing something that is fulfilling rather than merely passing the time.

“I TOOK A LONG, DEEP BREATH AND WONDERED AS USUAL, WHERE TO START. YOU START WHERE YOU ARE, IS THE SECRET OF LIFE. YOU DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING YOU CAN SEE. THEN THE NEXT.” ~ Anne Lamott

In this fourth and final instalment of this video series, Geoff sums up his talk on moving beyond thinking about recovery and taking action. To use a popular recovery metaphor, it’s about putting the tools in your toolbox to use. In his book, Not God, Ernie Kurtz records the history of the Alcoholics Anonymous movement. This account is not about the theory of addiction but, rather, is a historical account of tangible actions people in the early days of the recovery movement took to stay sober and support one another. What these early pioneers of the AA movement did was what saved them and helped build AA.

However, it is important to remember that action must have a purpose and a direction. Action cannot be a mere distraction, as a trick to keep us from thinking about drugs or alcohol or to make us feel important and useful. If people find themselves incapable of taking action, it is important to remember the advice of Anne Lamott who encourages those who are stuck to, if they don’t know what to do, do the next right thing. Finally, as Irvin Yalom tells us, it is important to make a commitment to action. Once one really commits, everything changes.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe once said:

Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.

Naysayers may say that talk like this is a set-up which can end up in failure. Geoff reminds us that in baseball a .333 average can make a ballplayer a very wealthy man, even though they fail 2 out 3 attempts. We learn by our failures.

In this final instalment, Cathy expresses her last of 5 wishes for families struggling with addiction of a loved one. The oxygen mask protocol is the rule that we put our own oxygen mask on first before doing anything else, including helping others. This is an obvious metaphor for the critical practice of family members that remember to look after themselves before assuming we are capable of helping others. We are not effective if we are stressed and worried to the point of ineffectiveness.

In this five-part series, Cathy extends her greatest wishes for families impacted by addiction. In part 4, Cathy encourages families to find their ‘North Star’ – that which inspires us, that over-arching goal, helping us move toward a greater, more fulfilling over-all purpose in life.

In this 3rd instalment, Cathy talks about ‘flow‘ which is based on the work of Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi. It’s about families finding something that inspires them and helps nourish inner joy. Importantly, it’s important to find something that doesn’t revolve around a loved one.

In part 2 of this series on supporting families affected by a loved one’s addiction, Cathy Patterson-Sterling highlights the the second of her five greatest wishes for families – maintaining healthy boundaries.

In this first instalment, Cathy invites loved ones to consider the first of five techniques that wil help them deal with addiction in the family: healthy emotional detachment.

This is the first instalment of a new topic on what we can learn from the research on works in addiction treatment. How do we gauge the effectiveness of therapy? This question has been the focus of researchers for a long, long time. In the old days, for example, the expert therapist would tell us that treatment was effective because of an observed change in personality (think Sigmund Freud). The client wasn’t considered competent enough to report on clinical matters. Nowadays, in contrast, we get feedback from clients as opposed to the person treating the client. For example, researchers will ask the client to report on how they cope with challenges to their sobriety both before and after treatment. Another example is whether a person who is shy (introverted) may become more outgoing (extroverted) after treatment. Anger (or the tendency to resort to anger) and impulsivity are also measured as clues to a change in personality.