Drug Rehab Center

Over the past four videos in this series on Addiction According to Meaning Therapists, Geoff Thompson has been reviewing the work of meaning-oriented therapists Jonathan Diamond, Jefferson Singer, Kirk Schneider and James Crumbaugh. Their work is by no means identical, but all of these therapists share four core principles:

1. We must treat the whole human being. Human beings are complex and unique. We are not going to separate out their addiction and forget the person with the addiction. Therefore, we don’t treat the addict, we treat the person.
2. You must connect with others. In this era of neuroscience, we are finding that humans are ‘hardwired’ to be in relationship with other people. Evolution has created us this way.
3. You must live life. We need to do something in our recovery. We need to put it into practice. We need to experience life fully. Taking risks is part of recovery. All of these therapists we highlighted in this five-part series pointed out that dangers of isolating and being a couch potato.
4. Start looking at positive things in life. Stop dwelling on negativity. This point reminds us of the importance of attitude. Build your resilience, or what Dr. Frankl calls the defiant human spirit.

In this 4th instalment of Addiction According to Meaning Therapists, Geoff introduces us to Dr. James Crumbaugh who created a model of alcoholism treatment based on the philosophy of Dr. Viktor Frankl. His treatment model can be summarized as five stages:

Stage 1 – make a decision on how you are going to view life. For example, are you a machine? Are you more than a machine? Your choice will determine what options you have available to you.
Stage 2 – develop self-confidence. You must have a belief that you are capable of overcoming your addiction. Remember! Millions of people have
Stage 3 – persevere, think creatively. You are going to have some difficult days and you need to work through these times in order to achieve your objective of sobriety.
Stage 4 – encounter. You need to have a relationship with people. We are relational beings. Our job is to connect with other people. We need other people to give us feedback and validate our existence.
Stage 5 – dereflection (borrowed from Dr. Frankl). You need to stop looking at your life as a failure and start focusing on your strengths, your successes, the times in life when you were courageous.

These five stages, according to Dr. Crumbaugh, are key to overcoming alcoholism and, Geoff believes, can be extended to drug addiction as well. For more information on Dr. Crumbaugh’s program see Logotherapy: New Help for Problem Drinkers.

By Geoff Thompson, Ph.D. (cand.), CCC
Program Director at Sunshine Coast Health Center

In his new book, The Human Quest for Meaning, Dr. Paul Wong brings together a number of authors all talking about meaning and purpose in life. In this blog article, we’ll examine some ways that psychologists — who specialize in meaning therapy — have treated those suffering from addictions.

At Sunshine Coast, much of the therapy is based on the work of Dr. Paul Wong. But Dr. Wong is not the only expert in this kind of therapy. In the beginning, it was Viktor Frankl, who said that addiction was a response to living a life that had little personal meaning. Frankl influenced many therapists, who designed treatments either based directly or indirectly on his ideas.

As you will discover, none of the therapists we’ll talk about treat an “addict” or an “addiction.” They do not believe that a complex individual can be reduced to a single condition. Simply because some people succumb to addiction does not mean that they suddenly stop being complicated human beings with their own personal experience of the world. They still need to love and be loved, feel a sense of accomplishment, live up to their own standards for themselves, feel they are the authors of their lives, believe that their lives are worthwhile. So, these therapists treat a complex, unique person, who happens to have an addiction problem. The focus is on the whole human being, not on the condition.

Treating an “addict” might make sense if all addicts had common personalities, ways of thinking, and so on. Some people do believe that all addicts have an “addictive personality” — it’s remarkable how popular this idea is — it does not, in fact, exist. People who suffer from addiction do not have any special personality type or personality traits, which make them all in denial or narcissistic, and so on. As William R. Miller, one of the major experts in the field reminded us, five decades of scientific research trying to discover this mysterious “addictive personality” have shown that there is no such thing. The research is quite clear that those who succumb to addictions are as unique and complex as everyone else. To put it another way, they’re human.

Being human means they have needs and desires. It means that they have all sorts of emotions: guilt, joy, sadness, anger, pride, and so on. It means that they have formed some identity of themselves. It means that they have formed some sort of understanding of how the world works.

So let’s have a look at how expert therapists treat addiction. This will give you some clues to your own recovery. Although these therapists did not talk to each other, they interpreted addiction and recovery in very similar ways.

Jonathan Diamond

Dr. Diamond wrote a famous book called Narrative Means to Sober Ends. He believes that we are the stories we tell ourselves. This is a fairly new type of psychology, known as narrative psychology.

Diamond argues that we discover who we are through our narratives, through the stories we tell ourselves about our lives. We do not first have meaning in our lives and then tell a story about it; rather, we discover our life’s meaning through our stories.

The alcoholic might say to himself or herself such things as “I need a drink” or “I’m powerless over drinking” or some other comment that makes it sound as if alcoholism is some external force that has taken over the person. The alcoholic who believes this has, basically, given up the very thing that makes them human: the responsibility to make decisions that will help them live the kind of life they want.

Diamond’s therapy helps clients create a new story of their lives, one in which they are not at the mercy of the addiction. The therapy can be seen as helping clients understand what it means to be human, because Diamond proposes is that the experience of addiction is a human experience.

Jeff Singer

In this blog, we’ve talked before about Dr. Jefferson Singer, who wrote Message in a Bottle: Stories of Men and Addiction. He worked in a residential treatment center that admitted only clients who had detoxed at least seven times and been in treatment at least six times. (Dr. Singer is no longer at the center.) He was interested in why male addicts would return to drug use even after being exposed to several mainstream addiction treatments.

Like Jon Diamond’s ideas, which we examined last week, Dr. Singer believes that the stories that addicts tell themselves about who they are and their place in the world is a major problem for them. Singer says that addicts have a very poor sense of who they are (identity) and a very poor sense of fitting in the world (they have weak relationships with others). In fact, it is because of this that addicts use substances. The alcohol and drugs serve as a doomed attempt to deal with the poor sense of self and poor sense of fitting in the world.

His therapy helps clients develop a positive identity and connect with others at a deeper emotional level. If they can achieve a more positive view of themselves and what they truly want from life, then they can finally discover what makes their lives meaningful. This is why Dr. Singer says that addiction is basically a problem of “meaning.” As one reviewer described it, Dr. Singer’s approach is “deeply humane.”

Ballinger, Matano, and Amantea

Drs. Barbara Ballinger, Robert Matano, and Adrianne Amantea worked with an alcoholic, whom they called “Charles.” They pointed out that mainstream treatments for addiction have very low success rates. They suggested that the reason for these poor success rates was that what the addict really needed was to learn to be comfortable with negative emotions, because negative emotions are as much a part of life as positive emotions. These negative emotions are not superficial ones, such as getting angry at a motorist who cuts you off. Rather, they are the result of deep anxiety over death, loneliness, and so on.

According to Ballinger, Matano, and Amantea, there’s no sense trying to have only positive emotions because human beings are not built that way. This was the power of the drug—it allows the addict the feeling of being in control of his emotions. But the long-term problem was that the client lost a sense of who he is and where he is going. In fact, all that using meant that he wasn’t paying much attention to himself. This also influenced his relationships, which revolved around drug use and not around the security and contentment of being with others.

Their therapy consists of helping clients live with many uncomfortable emotions. They are not very interested in providing information on how drugs affect the brain or the pros and cons of getting a new job. Rather, they try to help clients realize that it is okay to be angry or sad or feel guilt—and no need to use drugs to get rid of them. The therapy also helps them connect with others (in this case, with the therapist). Addicts are not very good at connecting with others. Clients learn to be attentive to others, to meet them on a level playing field, to experience what it means when two people form an open and trusting relationship.

James Crumbaugh

Dr. James Crumbaugh developed a treatment for alcoholism based on Viktor Frankl’s form of therapy known as “logotherapy.” (Logo equals “meaning,” so this is meaning therapy.) Crumbaugh wrote a famous book, Logotherapy: New Help for Problem Drinkers (and Frankl wrote the foreword to this book).

Crumbaugh believes that we all need each other. He suggests that Frankl believed the same thing. As he writes in his book, “everybody has to have somebody in order to find a personal identity as Somebody.” What he means by this is that we feel important only if someone else treats us as if we are important; you can’t feel important if you are alone. We thus need to love and to be loved, to feel that others think we are worthwhile, to feel that others think we are accomplishing things in our lives, to feel that others think we’re good people, and so on.

His treatment is a five step process: (1) Choosing your view of life, (2) building self-confidence, (3) creative thinking, (4) encounter, and (5) dereflection. Crumbaugh says that you have two choices on how to view your life: “Man is merely a machine” or “Man is a machine, but he is also infinitely more than a machine.” The second and third steps refer to the belief that you are capable of overcoming addiction and that you have the determination to do so. The fourth step, encounter, refers to connections with other people According to Crumbaugh, it’s a mistake to think that you can find meaning by having the perfect job or playing music alone or any other thing that is not people-focused. The value of these things for meaningful living is that they are vehicles that bring us into contact with others. Dereflection, the fifth step, is one of Frankl’s therapeutic techniques. According to Crumbaugh, dereflection “is the core of the logotherapeutic process of searching for meaning and purpose in life.” This technique helps the addict shift focus from failures and shortcomings to abilities, successes, and aptitudes. Paying attention to these positive attributes is, of course, necessary if one is to find new goals and ”discover tasks that will bring him into sufficient relationship with the ‘significant others’ in his life.”

Conclusion: Lessons from the Expert Addiction Therapists

In this article, we’ve been discovering how different expert therapists, who believe addiction is a response to a lack of meaning and purpose in life, provide treatment to help their clients overcome addiction.

By now, you’ve likely realized that these therapists share many ideas on what it means to be addicted and what it means to recover. In a nutshell, they are convinced that addiction (and recovery) can be understood only at a human level. Any idea that addiction is something imposed on a person—such as addiction is a disease—has no place in their thinking.

Here are four common themes that these therapists help us understand.

First, they believe that therapy for addiction is all about helping clients appreciate that they are complicated, unique individuals—not just drug users who need to be fixed.

Second, they believe that addicts in recovery must learn to form strong emotional connections with others. Evolution has hard-wired us to be with others. In fact, we discover who we are by how others treat us.

Third, they believe that recovery is all about having real-life positive experiences. Recovery is not merely learning about new ways of living; it’s not some intellectual exercise. It’s about actually living, experiencing the world.

Fourth, they believe recovery demands that you make sense of yourself in a new, positive way. We’ve all fallen below the standards we set for ourselves. The key is to learn from “failures” and “shortcomings,” not see ourselves as failures.

By Geoff Thompson, Ph.D. (cand.), CCC
Program Director at Sunshine Coast Health Center

Much of the clinical program at Sunshine Coast Health Center is based on the theory and research of Dr. Paul Wong. Although Dr. Wong began as an experimental psychologist (training rats to be able to withstand more and more stress, etc.), he became very interested in the work of Viktor Frankl. What appealed to him was Frankl’s idea that the fundamental motivation of all human beings was to live a personally meaningful life. But Frankl did not have a lot of psychology to back up his ideas. Dr. Wong has spent much of his career putting a psychological research basis to Frankl’s ideas.

Dr. Wong’s new book will be published soon. It is the second edition of The Human Quest for Meaning, and it has a lot of chapters from some of the finest psychologists on what it takes to live a personally meaningful life. By the way, the number of chapters and authors should tell you that all this meaning stuff is actually quite complicated. Different authors each provide a piece to the meaning puzzle, providing all sorts of knowledge on big meanings and little meanings, how the stories we tell ourselves can be positive or detrimental, why searching for happiness may backfire when a major problem in life arises (such as trauma), how meaningful living may shift as one gets older, how struggles in life can add to meaningful living, and so on.

In this blog article, we’ll examine five major themes in Dr. Wong’s book. These five themes will help you if you or a loved one is in recovery. Viktor Frankl was convinced that addiction was a response that some people used to deal with a life that had little personal meaning. The symptoms of such a life are typically being bored, not feeling you are in control of your destiny, not having any real direction in your life, feeling different than others, not really being able to make sense of your life, feeling that you don’t belong, and so on. Addiction allows you to exist in such a life.

Many Sunshine Coast clients report that intoxication gets rid of the worries and pressures of the world leaving them with a sense of freedom, feeling stronger and in control, being able to make sense of things…at least temporarily. But as sobriety returns, all the guilt, hurt, loss, confusion, and self-consciousness return. Dr. Wong’s books provides research-based approaches to help people feel this way without drugs.

Part One: Threats to Meaning

Many people with addictions recognize that there are a number of threats to living a meaningful life. Addiction is a common one because the dynamic of addiction serves to take away any meaning the person might once have possessed.

Some of the threats to meaning that clients have told us are reflected in Dr. Wong’s book, which has chapters on trauma, sickness, aging, and death. Some threats, such as trauma, shatter how one makes sense of the world and their place in it. An inability to make sense of traumatic experience is, essentially, the problem of posttraumatic stress disorder. Serious illness often catalyzes the uncomfortable feeling of anxiety, but it can also trigger a desperate search for meaning. Many Sunshine Coast clients have had real-life evidence of how fragile we really are. Aging is a common threat to meaning and has resulted in the so-called mid-life crisis. Many in the addiction field are hardly surprised that the average age of clients is mid to late 30s; even Bill Wilson sobered up at age 39. And death is universally recognized as the greatest source of anxiety; people are the only species who are aware that they will die. This puts great pressure on people on figuring out how to live life to the fullest.

Part Two: PURE

Dr. Wong has a chapter on his PURE model. PURE stands for Purpose, Understanding, Responsibility, and Evaluation/Enjoyment. These four components provide an appreciation for how meaning functions in life. They are so important that if any one of them is missing, then you will not live as good a life as you could be.

Purpose refers to why you are living your life as you are. As you know, the purpose of life for an addict is to get the drugs and get high. But Wong points out that such a purpose won’t lead to happiness, at least not according to his research. Happy people have a more positive purpose than intoxication. They have some higher purpose, which goes beyond themselves, such as being a good father or a member of a community.

Understanding refers to self-awareness and making sense of the world in a way that matches what is actually going on.

Responsibility refers to recognizing that the decisions you make affect the kind of life you live. This includes, of course, the decision to be a victim to life. It’s the idea that you are the author of your life.

Evaluation/Enjoyment refers to two ideas. First, it is important to reflect on your life: Are you happy? What would you have to do to make your life better? And so on. The Enjoyment part is the reason why you live a meaningful life. Meaning and purpose give you a reason to be excited about your life, to feel comfortable, and so on.

Part Three: Subjective and Objective Meaning

Lots of self-help books tell us to be true to ourselves. This is meaning that each of us pursues in life. The only problem with this way of living a meaningful life is that there is a danger of self-centeredness. A purely subjective way of approaching life seems to lead to a conclusion that one could live a meaningful life by being a pedophile or robbing banks or killing people who interfere with personal goals.

It’s important that we understand the time-honored ways of living a meaningful life—the kinds of things we learn from artists, philosophers, and psychological researchers. These thinkers have helped us understand that there are general principles we can follow, or what Dr. Wong calls “objective” meaning.

Combining the subjective and objective meaning is important. This was one of Viktor Frankl’s big points. Frankl was a great believer in the time-honored values that people followed to live a meaningful life. Some examples of such objective meanings are: attach one’s life to something greater than oneself, act virtuously, when in doubt just do the next right thing, use anger positively to help yourself and the world, recognize that to suffer is natural, care for others, and so on.

Part Four: Self-Determination

Several chapters in Dr. Wong’s book describe Self-Determination Theory (SDT). It is obviously important for anyone to feel that he or she is the one making decisions for their lives.

Doctors Edward L. Ryan and Richard M. Deci are generally recognized as the leaders in SDT. According to them, “the meaning-making process is intrinsic to our natures, and responsible for helping individuals create . . a coherent life course . . . As we take in new experiences and make sense of them for ourselves, we experience greater harmony, purpose, and wholeness.” You can see from this quotation that to be self-determining is to live a personally meaningful life.

Of course, being self-determining requires that you discover who you really are. What is valuable and important to you? Two of the things that we’ve discovered in psychology is that people seem to need to connect with others and feel competent. But there are many more.

Part Five: Relationships

December is generally a time we surround ourselves with friends and families. For other cultures, this may be a different time, such as January for Asian peoples, but in Canada and the United States we generally look to December. This is a time for connecting with others, for celebrating with others, for thinking of others and how they have enriched our lives.

Aron and Aron’s chapter in Dr. Wong’s book emphasizes the importance of other people in living a meaningful life. Relationships allow one to expand one’s life by transcending it through other people.

According to Aron and Aron, “caring for others is central to meaning.” At one level, forming positive relationships with others seems is a form of survival. “Social units, whether family or businesses, small towns or whole countries…, tend to survive better if they emphasize cooperation, altruism, sharing, and the general sense that the group is more important than the individual.”

At another level, being connected with something greater than the self seems essential for meaningful living. For some people, this may be a connection with God; for some, it is the AA group; for some, it is a sense of being part of a family or community.

By Geoff Thompson, Ph.D. (cand.), CCC
Program Director at Sunshine Coast Health Center

As regular readers of this blog know by now, the great psychiatrist Viktor Frankl said that addiction is a response to living a life that has little personal meaning. According to Frankl, the most obvious symptom of such a meaningless life is boredom. It should not surprise us, then, that researchers have discovered that one of the most common vulnerabilities to addiction is boredom. And Narcotics Anonymous (2008) tells us that boredom is a major risk for relapse: “Many times in our recovery the old bugaboos will haunt us. Life may again become meaningless, monotonous and boring.” Interestingly, research has also discovered that boredom a major reason why clients drop out of treatment.

It is common for Sunshine Coast clients to complain that weekends, especially, are boring because programming is less intense. Such complaints are typical of those who suffer from chronic boredom. The lack of an imposed structure covering the full weekend is interpreted as, “There’s not much going on during the weekends.”

Although boredom may appear to be a relatively simple condition—after all, everyone gets bored from time to time—research has concluded that chronic (long-term) boredom is quite complex. Typically, we hear from those who are chronically bored that they get bored with some activity or some place. Sunshine Coast clients in their life stories often mention, for example, that “I was bored at school.” But researchers, such as Richard Bargdill, have reported that those who are bored in school are bored in other life areas. In other words, a chronically bored person seems to be bored in most places and in most activities.

The famous psychologist Erich Fromm argued that it is one of the most painful of conditions and individuals would do anything they could to alleviate it.

Part One — Understanding boredom

Different psychologists have formed different theories on boredom, but one of the best explanations comes from Richard Bargdill. From his studies of life boredom, Bargdill highlighted several common features of bored people. According to his research, bored people do not necessarily start out being bored. They have goals they want to achieve, but then something happens that is a barrier to the goal. An example of such a barrier is that a person gets sick, which interrupts some personally meaningful pursuit. Another example is the person who might want to be a doctor but then doesn’t do well in math in high school.

The person feels that the barrier is out of their control and thus feels forced to change their personal goal. Bargdill suggests that those who become bored may be too overconfident; they don’t realize how much work their goal will take to achieve or they become dismayed when they find out how difficult it is. They don’t seem to be able to overcome barriers with some creative solution.

But whatever the reason, the person changes the goal that really appealed to them. So the new, modified goal is not their preferred one. Because the new goal lacks the personal meaning of the original goal, they really don’t put their heart into the new goal. In time, they lose interest in the new goal and find life less than satisfactory. Then they start blaming others for their unhappiness. They also take a passive stance toward their lives. Those who are chronically bored look to others and to the world to keep them entertained and occupied.

Part Two — Drugs as a Solution to Boredom

We often ask clients what they do in active addiction when they get bored. Their answer is, of course, they get intoxicated. It is one of the interesting characteristics of intoxication that it usually gets rid of boredom.

Some drugs have the effect of making life more interesting. Marijuana is, for example, famous for making music sound richer and jokes seem funnier. It changes the experience of time so that time slows down, allowing the addict to look more deeply into whatever is in front of him. (Jack Kerouac’s Visions of Cody is an interesting attempt to describe the experience of marijuana intoxication.) Users of drugs such as LSD report that sounds can have colors and colors can have sounds. Obviously, such experiences are out of the norm and thus new and exciting. And, of course, after a few drinks at the bar, even strangers become friends.

We’ve talked before of the great philosopher and psychologist William James, who described his personal experiences of intoxication with alcohol, nitrous oxide, and chloroform. With alcohol, for instance, he said that intoxication allowed him to make sense of opposites, such as good and evil, which, when sober, he could not really come to terms with. Other thinkers we’ve talked about before on the online program, such as the great psychiatrist Carl Jung, said that alcohol could provide a counterfeit feeling of spirituality. It was no accident, said Jung, that alcohol in Latin is “spirits.” The experiences of intoxication described by James and Jung would certainly add some zip to a boring, sober life.

Part Three — Drug Lifestyle as a Solution to Boredom

Perhaps the most potent strategy that addicts use to deal with life boredom is intensity. Addicts love emotional intensity. And it doesn’t seem to matter whether the emotion is happiness, sadness, or anger. As long as the emotional level is raised to the level of a soap opera, it’s good.

“We made mountains out of molehills,” says Narcotics Anonymous. Addicts are famous for this. If the addict goes to the parking lot and finds his car has a flat, he feels it’s as if this is one more example of his pathetic luck. Interestingly, relationships where addiction is involved are also very soap-opera like.

Another tactic for creating intensity is to quit something and start something new. There is a benefit in newness…it’s not boring, at least for a while.

One more example is the type of work that addicts are drawn toward. Those filled with pressure or risk or chaos are appealing because they make the job exciting. One more example is not finishing things; many clients are famous for starting some new project or hobby (the exciting part) but not seeing it through (the not-so-exciting part). Having a series of relationships or one-night stands is also exciting; the problem with long-term relationships is that the honeymoon period, the exciting part, ends.

Even in treatment clients often invent things to overcome their boredom. Rumors and gossip are typical. Or, for those really bored, engaging in crisis, conflict, and drama is popular.

Part Four — Having a Goal as a Solution to Boredom

I googled “How to deal with boredom,” and the first website to appear asked, “What single goal is worth one hour a day for the rest of your life?” Almost everyone who provides advice on dealing with boredom tells you that you need goals. The goal must be personal, not one imposed by someone else. And the goal has to be sufficiently big to keep you interested.

This advice makes sense. If boredom is really a psychological problem of not pursuing freely chosen goals—being true to oneself—then the solution is to figure out what you want to do in life.

It’s interesting that traditional treatment approaches for addiction take the view that clients must be kept busy. If a busy activity schedule is not imposed on addicts, God knows what they will get up to. But this approach does not actually deal with the underlying psychological problem—the lack of a personally meaningful life. If Frankl is right — addiction is one response to a meaningless and boring life — then the solution must be to live a meaningful life. This means having a mission, pursuing goals, etc. The byproduct will be that boredom dissolves away.

Part Five — Complexity as a Solution to Boredom

Another solution to the problem of chronic boredom is recognize that whatever you do must become more complex. Psychologist Mihaly Czikszentmihalyi developed flow theory to understand how creative people were creative. Among the things that he discovered was that for something to be interesting over the long haul, that something had to become increasingly more complicated.

You probably know that some songs have great emotional impact on you. But if you listen to these songs over and over they lose their appeal. If you only know how to play three chords on the guitar, then playing the guitar will become boring. If you watch the same episode of Seinfeld TV show over and over, it will become boring. If you eat the same meal every day for a week, it will become boring. And so on.

On the other hand, if you what you do becomes increasingly complex, it will hold your attention. This is true of hobbies, playing the guitar, and so on. It’s also true of relationships. To keep out of a rut in relationships, you have to introduce new energy, such as different friends, activities, etc.

By Geoff Thompson, Ph.D.(cand.), CCC

Sunshine Coast Health Center defines addiction in line with the great psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, who said that addiction is a response to living a life that has little personal meaning. If Frankl is right—and a growing body of research is saying he is — then those suffering from addictions are faced with having to discover or create a life that has purpose and meaning for them.

According to Frankl, people succumb to addiction because they feel they are different than others, lonely, bored, confused, depressed, lack direction, have no purpose, have no goals, etc. This isn’t a matter of growing up poor or lacking education. We know that many addicts are wealthy and highly educated. Rather, addiction affects a cross-section of society, with the defining issue that life just doesn’t seem that comfortable. Essentially, their lives of those vulnerable to addiction do not offer much bang for the buck.

The solution to addiction is thus to live a life that is personally meaningful, a life that fills you up. This is all fine and good, but actually living a personally meaningful life is the end result. The real question each person must ask is: What do I do to live a personally meaningful life? What are my goals? What is my mission? What is my purpose in life?

This impulse to make sense of one’s life is a fundamental motivation for human beings, according to psychologist Dr. Paul Wong, whose work forms the basis for Sunshine Coast’s treatment program. This is one of the reasons why Sunshine Coast puts a special focus on what Wong calls “the human quest for meaning” and why Sunshine Coast agrees with AA’s saying: “To thine own self be true.”

This article will provide you with some insights into what all the talk of meaning in life is about.

Part One: The Problem of No Meaning

Here’s a reminder of some of the things we’ve mentioned in previous online programs about the meaninglessness of the addict’s life.

Many fine thinkers have helped us understand the addict’s struggles. Addicts do not live a personally meaningful life (Viktor Frankl). They lack a sense of belonging (psychologist Bruce Alexander). They can’t answer the questions, “Who am I?” and “How do I fit in the world?” (psychologist Jefferson Singer). They are not true to themselves and what they want out of life (psychologist Stanton Peele). Living frightens them when they are sober (addict-playwright Eugene O’Neill). They think they are different than others (musician Eric Clapton).

Alcoholics Anonymous and all 12-step programs focus on spirituality because believing in a higher power can provide those in recovery with an overarching meaning for their lives. Understanding that they lack spirituality—according to AA/NA—helps addicts make sense of why they are suffering. As NA states, the addict’s life is “meaningless, monotonous and boring.”

Many in recovery have willingly accepted what others told them is meaningful in life, without really believing or feeling it. A typical example is the recovering person who joins a Church. Perhaps he sees people there are smiling and welcoming. They provide him with direction. But after a few months, he doesn’t seem to really be getting a better life. Perhaps he feels there is something wrong with him that he is not “getting it.” Others encourage him to stick it out, but he’s just not feeling better. This was one of Frankl’s cautions. Meaning cannot be imposed on the individual. Meaning must be personal. It’s no use getting a high-paying job, buying a house with a white picket fence, driving a new car, etc, if it doesn’t help you feel alive. Your parents may want such a life for you, but the key is that it must be what you want.

Part Two: The Problem of Too Many Answers

In a very real sense, the problem of finding what is meaningful in life may be that we are faced with too many answers.
Today, we have so many different ways of making sense of life. The local bookstores provide any number of answers. Some of the more common titles focus on mindfulness meditation or happiness. A YouTube video from Jeremy Rifkin tells us that it’s all about empathy:

Click Here for Jeremy Rifkin Video on Empathy

(You should know that Rifkin bases much of his thinking on the neuroscience discovery of “mirror neurons”; most neuroscientists today, however, question whether these neurons are really the physical basis of empathy, as was originally thought.)

David Seaman put together a book entitled “The Real Meaning of Life.” He tells us how he came to create the book: “On October 10, 2004, I was sitting with my laptop at a café in New York City trying to avoid writing a paper for my first-year humanities class. In a moment of despair, I typed ‘What is the meaning of life?’ into an online forum. Fifty thousand hits and two thousand answers later . . .” he had the material for his book. What Seaman discovered is that everyone seems to have their own answer.

The problem of all these meanings of life is which do you select? Many of them trip over each other, so they cannot all be right—though they can certainly all be wrong. One book tells you to rid yourself of the illusion of the self. According to this thinking, what you believe about yourself is simply an illusion. This illusion has been forced on you by my parents, teachers, society. But it’s all artificial. If you can get rid of, what the book calls, your “ego-self,” then you can connect with the reality of the universe. But another book tells you that you have to pursue what makes you happy. Rather than get rid of yourself, you have to pay more attention to it. Yeow! Unfortunately, all these teachers seem quite convinced that they are right and the others missed the boat.

Part Three: A Lesson from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

In “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” Douglas Adams describes a computer called “Deep Thought.” The computer takes 7.5 million years to provide the answer to the universe. The solution is “42.” Another computer has to be built to figure out what the question is that Deep Thought answered! (British philosopher Terry Eagleton considers this little story as a symbol for today’s world. It seems as if the answers today are less important than the questions.)

Many people are looking for answers—likely, you are one of them. But maybe figuring out the meaning of your life has little to do with an answer to a question. Maybe it’s got to do with a way of living. According to the famous writer Albert Camus, “You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” What he meant by this is that the meaning of life is the actual living of it.

Thinking about life is a weak substitute for experiencing life. But it is important to reflect on your past, present, and future. Thinking about your life can influence how you interpret your experiences. And your experiences give you stuff to think about.

Part Four: A Way of Living

I am suggesting that the answer to the question, What is the meaning of life, is not an answer to a question but a way of living. It’s very telling that the history of AA is the history of what actions people took to get recovery — not what they thought about.

Many people have provided clues as to what you can DO to live a personally meaningful life. I’ve talked about these before in previous articles. Here’s a reminder of some of them:

- Do things for a purpose and not merely to keep busy, busy, busy.
- Do things based on what you truly want out of life, and not based on your fears.
- Try new things simply for the experience.
- Remember: “To thine own self be true.”
- Care for others.
- Live from the inside out.
- Love and be loved.
- Attach your life to something bigger than you are.
- Recognize that all people are imperfect, including you.
- Ask for help when you need it.
- Learn that negative emotions can be very useful, if you choose to use them for your benefit.
- Remember Rule 62: “Don’t take yourself so seriously.”
- Get rid of any thoughts that include “If only….”
- Take responsibility only for yourself (except if you have kids, of course).
- “Live life on life’s terms.” (Viktor Frankl’s version: “What does Life demand of you?”)
- Don’t “should” on yourself.
- If you don’t know what to do, do the next right thing.

By Geoff Thompson – MA, CCC
Program Director
Sunshine Coast Health Center

Introduction

Anyone interested in recovery can find any number of videos and books that define what an addiction is and how to recover from it. Today, of course, the brain chemistry argument is huge, and if one believes that drugs hijack the brain then recovery is a matter of simply doing helpful things until such time as the withdrawal lessens. Today, this includes an emphasis on relapse prevention techniques, diet, exercise, sleep hygiene, and so on. Other experts provide us with help on how to deal with anger and other emotions that seem to accompany addiction. Still other experts recommend understanding one’s place in the family and how addiction has been a response to family dysfunction.

All these are valuable, but they seem to tell us that the key to recovery is to focus on this or that aspect of life. At Sunshine Coast Health Center, we help clients with any medical issues, diet, and exercise and with any psychological issues such as anger, guilt, depression, anxiety, etc. In addition, we help clients with family matters. But we place a special emphasis on what it means to be human. There are certain dynamics in being human that seem to be true, regardless of what family we grew up in or what country we were born in or what era we lived.

It’s interesting that some people seem to think that addicts shouldn’t be human in recovery or, at least, that they magically don’t operate by the same principles that all human beings operate. For instance, some people seem to think that addicts can just change habits and thinking that they’ve used to survive in the world for years. Stick the addict in a treatment center for a few weeks, and he’ll be cured.

Many of our clients have this idea as well. They rely on exercise and diet to keep them clean and sober, or they believe that attending 12-step meetings alone will lead to the good life, or they think that if they could just reduce the stress at work they will have no problem with substances. But human beings are very complicated creatures. And we know that addiction operates at deep psychological levels — if it didn’t, we would have eliminated the problem a long, long time ago.

At Sunshine Coast, we define addiction in line with the great psychiatrist, Viktor Frankl, who believed that addiction was a response to living a life that has little personal meaning. As valuable as exercise, diet, relieving anger or depression, reducing stress at work, and other tactics are, recovery has to address the feeling that life is, to borrow a phrase from Narcotics Anonymous, “meaningless, monotonous and boring.” Such a feeling affects us as total human beings — physically, emotionally, mentally. Because it is at the core of addiction, the emptiness that addicts talk about their lives pervades their physical bodies, their attitude, their emotions, their thoughts, their actions.

Human beings live by principles that seem to operate regardless of what family one is raised or what country or what era. If we do not account for these human qualities, chances are that recovery will not be very successful. Addiction is an entirely understandable response if one feels he doesn’t belong, he is different, that sober life is boring, and so on. It is a very human response to do something that makes one feel vital and alive, even if it lasts only temporarily. 

In this article, we’ll look at a few of these principles of what it means to be human. And, of course, we’ll borrow some ideas from Viktor Frankl.
 
Principle #1: You are a Whole Human Being (Wholeness)

When we follow up with clients after they have left treatment, we are often surprised that they focus only on one part of themselves. Perhaps they spend enormous time and energy in a recovery group, such as AA or NA. Perhaps they spend a great deal of time focusing on their physical health. Perhaps they spend the vast majority of their time focused on family.

All this is good. But it’s important to remember that people cannot be reduced to one or two or three aspects of their lives. People are complex wholes. The great psychologist, Rollo May, said that each of us lives in three worlds at the same time. One world is the physical world, another is our interactions with others, and the third is the world inside our heads. Paying attention to our physical health is important but so is our relationship with others and our self-awareness. Going to AA or NA meetings is great, but so is the time spent with families and friends in the community, and time we reflect on our own lives.

One of the things we’ve discovered from research is that the idea of “addiction” appeared only when people started to compartmentalize their lives. Work and family and play more or less happened in the same place, often at the same time. Then what is known as the industrial revolution hit (somewhere around the mid-1700s). We started going to the workplace, which was different than the home. When we wanted a drink, we went to the Public House (the Pub). There was a time for work and a time for family and a time for fun and a time to be religious. We started fragmenting our lives. We began living our lives in separate compartments, as if we were not whole, unified individuals. We put on a different face depending on where we were, behaving differently depending on whether we were at work or with family or with friends or at church. Interestingly, the industrial revolution seems to be a time when major mental health issues suddenly appeared.

Principle #2: You Must Grow as a Person (Growth)

One of important things to realize about yourself is that well-being depends on your growing emotionally as a person. This means overcoming challenges, pursuing dreams, gaining self-awareness, being true to yourself. Psychologist Abraham Maslow described in 1954 a theory of motivation, which has laid the foundation for the principle that the individual has an inherent tendency toward self-actualization. Similarly, psychologist Carl Rogers believed that “there is an inevitable directional course in people and all forms of life toward increased complexity, differentiation, evolution, completion, and wholeness.”

Those who do not grow run into trouble. Psychologist Rollo May said that if someone is “not growing toward something, he does not merely stagnate; the pent-up potentialities turn into morbidity and despair, and eventually into destructive activities.” What he meant by this is that each of us has a natural tendency to grow and develop mentally; if we interrupt this process, we run into big problems. The addict is one example of someone who stops growing because his or her mission in life is to satisfy the addiction, leaving all those other things, such as love and dreams, forgotten.

What is particularly interesting is that modern research has indicated that if the addict can overcome barriers to this growth process, then a transformational change in values and beliefs often results. And you may recall from previous online programs where we talked about Joseph Campbell and his recipe for happiness: “Follow your bliss.” When you follow your bliss, when you are true to yourself, then it will feel as if hands are magically helping you through life. You will begin to meet people who seemed as if they came out of nowhere. In fact, they were there all along; you simply didn’t see them until you were on the right path.

Consideration #3: You are Responsible for Your Life (Responsibility)

Psychiatrist Irvin Yalom described what it means to be responsible for your life: “Responsibility means authorship. To be aware of responsibility is to be aware of creating one’s own self [identity], destiny, life predicament, feelings, and, if such be the case, one’s own suffering.” True, advances in psychology have shown that most of our decisions are unconscious, but we must ask, with Yalom, “Whose unconscious is it?”

The idea that each of us is the author of his or her life continues to be one of the most difficult for those in early recovery to grasp. It’s not a simple idea. It means that, fundamentally, your life is the result of the choices you make, as well as luck, where you were born, your genetics, and so on. But it is the choices that you make that have the most impact on the kind of life you lead, the amount of suffering you endure, how others see you, and how you see yourself.

Clients attending Sunshine Coast Health Center soon learn that our counsellors spend a lot of time trying to help them figure out how to take control of their lives – to be the author of their own lives. The AA version of this is “To thine own self be true.” Psychologically, this is necessary for good mental and emotional health. But it’s tough because it’s so easy to retreat to playing a victim or blaming others or life for suffering. In fact, it’s well known in the addictions field that addicts use drugs as an attempt to control their moods. The drug offers a proven, reliable method to achieve a certain altered state of consciousness. Well, at least for a period of time, until the strategy backfires.

Yalom was a firm believer that to be the author of your life, it was not enough to be aware of this fact—you have to do something. Action is an essential component of responsibility. This takes practice. It’s no good knowing that you are the author of your life if you continue to be passive and not stick up for yourself. It’s no good being the author of your life, if your actions don’t match your beliefs and values. It’s no good trying to be the author of your life when what is really controlling you is a drug.

Consideration #4: You Have Many Untapped Abilities (Potentiality)

Human beings have a remarkable capacity to dig deep inside when things get tough. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Of course, when the going gets tough, some people crash and burn. But the reality is that they have it within themselves to overcome great adversity—if they believed it and were willing to work.

When people are motivated enough, they can find courage, resilience, hope, forgiveness, and other qualities that psychiatrist Viktor Frankl described as the “defiant human spirit.”  Of course, all of us have to face certain givens of existence, such as the knowledge that we will die. But there are many positive givens of existence. Even in the worst possible circumstances, as Frankl told us about the Nazi death camps, human beings are still free to choose the attitude they take toward the situation. At Sunshine Coast, we promote the client’s ability to transcend biological and environmental limitations, take control of their lives, turn failures into learning experiences, and so on. 

Here is one example of an alumnus who tapped into his defiant human spirit. Harry was in his mid-20s and was overwhelmed by his family. He relied on them for money, since he spent all of his on drugs. He relied on them for his truck, since they had bought it for him and it was in their name. He relied on them for a place to stay, since they were helping pay his mortgage. In fact, Harry had relied on his family pretty much during his whole life.

His family told him that they would help him out with money but only under strict conditions: he had to be drug-tested regularly, he had to have a job, he had to go to 12-step meetings everyday, and so on. Harry told us that he felt as if he were “being held hostage.” At Sunsine Coast, we, of course, helped him understand that he is the author of his life.

He had to make a decision whether to accept the deal his family gave him or not. It took Harry most of his time in treatment to figure this out, but in the end he decided that the money was not worth the cost of his desire to feel free. So he decided to decline the family’s deal and went off on his own.

This was really a courageous act on Harry’s part. He gave up all the safety and ease of his family’s money for the unknown world, with only himself to rely on. Interestingly, within a year, he had found a good-paying job, rented a nice place, bought a car. When the family saw this, they too were very impressed. But, most important, Harry told us that he feels so much better now.

By Daniel Jordan
Director
Sunshine Coast Health Center

“Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more. . . . He became as good a friend . . . and as good a person, as the good old city knew. . . . Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh. . . . His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.”

Excerpt from A Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens (1812-1870)

INTRODUCTION

It’s obviously a huge understatement to describe A Christmas Carol as a popular holiday story. To many of us, the novel’s main character, Ebenezer Scrooge, is as synonomous with Christmas as Santa Claus and Jesus Christ (Wikipedia has a long list of A Christmas Carol adaptations). So how to account for it’s popularity?

Maybe it is the generosity exemplified by Mr. Scrooge toward the tale’s conclusion. After all, Christmas reminds us that while we fret over buying the perfect gifts for friends and family, many people in our communities are happy just to get a hot meal. Perhaps A Christmas Carol is popular because it reminds us that Christmas is much more than just a time to shop – we enjoy the uplifting story of man being charitable to his fellow man.

On the darker side, another possible explanation for the enduring popularity of A Christmas Carol is how justice is served to people of privilege and power when they take advantage of their position in society; millions watched as ‘sweet revenge’ and humiliation were exacted on modern-day Scrooges like Bernie Madoff and Conrad Black.

I would, however, like to suggest that the real fascination with Ebenezer Scrooge is his overnight transformation from a lonely miser to a beloved pillar of the community. It is human nature to wish that we could wake up one morning forever changed (and author Charles Dickens assures the reader with the quote above that the change in Mr. Scrooge was permanent). While A Christmas Carol is not the only story involving transformation it is one of the few stories of intrinsic change as opposed to the external variety such as sudden wealth, fame (A Star is Born), prestige (Cinderella) or beauty (The Ugly Duckling).

ADDICTION TREATMENT AS A TRANSFORMATIONAL EXPERIENCE

At Sunshine Coast Health Center, we believe that it is not enough simply to treat the ‘addiction’. Instead, a client’s experience with us facilitates ongoing personal transformation,the goal being healthy, thoughtful men who are inspired to live with a renewed sense of vitality and purpose. That’s straight out of our brochure.

So, does that mean that every client leaves Sunshine Coast transformed? No, but that’s what we’re shooting for. We believe that is better to aim high and fall short than to aim low and not be disappointed. We find solace in the famous quote by German Playwright Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: “When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.”

In the following video, Viktor Frankl makes a similar point:

Another disclaimer I might add at this point concerns predicting which client will have a transformational experience. The truth is we have no idea but it is obvious to all when it has occurred. There is a new sense of enthusiasm for life and an energy similar to that of Mr. Scrooge.

BILL WILSON’S “HOT FLASH” TRANSFORMATION

According to AA lore, founder Bill Wilson had a transformational experience while undergoing alcoholism treatment in 1934. While lying in bed depressed and despairing, he [Bill Wilson] cried out, “I’ll do anything! Anything at all! If there be a God, let Him show Himself!” Legend has it that, from that point forward, Bill Wilson never drank again.

But does never drinking again equate to transformation? Bill Wilson continued to struggle with depression, was a chain smoker and, according to AA biographer Francis Hartigan, had several romantic affairs during his marriage to Lois Wilson (see Temptation and Reports of Infidelity, Wikipedia). In spite of his personal shortcomings, however, it could be said that noone has done more to help addicts than Bill Wilson. So, perhaps, Bill Wilson did have a transformational experience after all.

CONCLUSION

The gravesite of Charles Dickens located at Westminster Abbey’s Poet’s Corner in London reads: “He was a sympathiser to the poor, the suffering,and the oppressed; and by his death, one of England’s greatest writers is lost to the world.”

It appears from all historical accounts of Charles Dickens, creator of  Ebenezer Scrooge, that he knew true transformation required having meaning and purpose in life and a generous spirit. According to Wikipedia: “At a time when Britain was the major economic and political power of the world, Dickens highlighted the life of the forgotten poor and disadvantaged … his fiction probably demonstrated its greatest prowess in changing public opinion in regard to class inequalities.”

As we go about our Christmas festivities this year, it is perhaps through our kindness to others that we can best exemplify the true spirit of transformation!

By Geoff Thompson, MA, CCC
Program Director
Sunshine Coast Health Center

In this article, we’ll take a look at some of the tools we give Sunshine Coast clients in their recovery toolbox. Lots of alumni have told us that life is great now. They’ve blown the smoke off their lives and had a good, long look about what it is they want out of life. And they are putting in the time and effort and creativity to achieve goals.

But some alumni are struggling, even if they have not had a slip. They usually tell us that they have lost sight of goals, are dwelling on a family conflict or problem at work, afraid to take risks that will challenge them, are living life for others, and so on. This article is an overview of what clients learn at Sunshine Coast.

The bottom line for all these tools is this: we all have one life to live. No thunderbolt from the heavens is going to save us. That’s our job. Our alumni who are already taking charge of their lives know this is true, because they tell us it is. Those who are struggling also know this is true — they suffer because they don’t do anything about it. We typically hear from those who are struggling, “I know what I have to do but I’m not doing it” or “I’m not following my aftercare plan.”

Whatever we choose, the question to ask ourselves is this: How is my life working out for me? If we are unhappy, or feel that something is missing, then this is a sign that we need to do something to change things. The great addict-writer William S. Burroughs said that no one ever wants to be an addict. This is one of the main reasons why addicts suffer. They spend a lot of time and effort pursuing a life that they really don’t want. So, the job for those in recovery is to find a life that they do want.

In recovery, this life isn’t going to just drop into our laps. We actually have to work at it.

Recommendation # One: Take Charge of Your Life 

                               
1.1) Be the author of your life – Some of the greatest psychologists remind us that each person is in charge of his or her life. Each of us makes decisions that result in how we live. The 12-step version of this is: “To thine own self be true.” A recipe for suffering is to willingly give up control. One of the most famous examples in the recovery world is to play the victim. Adults who choose to be victims suffer unnecessarily. And they certainly don’t inspire admiration. Watch just about any Hollywood film, and you will see the hero that faces great problems but who overcomes them with creativity and determination. We admire people who refuse to be victims.

1.2) Ask Life what it demands of you – Lots of people try to take control of their lives by attempting to control others and life. This is where all that manipulation and lying comes from. But, as life may have taught us already, this is not a good tactic. People do what they choose regardless of what we want them to do. Things happen regardless of what we want them to do. The 12-step version of this is: “Live life on life’s terms.”

1.3) Live comfortably in the gray areas of life – It is simply reality that often there are no black and white answers to life’s problems. If you struggle in this reality, it’s likely because you feel the need to be in complete control—a typical sign of great insecurity. Taking charge means accepting reality. (Those of you who are parents know that there are lots of gray areas with kids.). The 12-step version: “Do your part and leave the rest up to God.”

1.4) Be flexible – You are on a journey, and no one can predict the future. If your thinking is rigid, you’ll suffer unnecessarily. When (not if) a wrench is thrown into your plans, figure out a way around it or change your path.

Recommendation # Two: Live with Purpose

2.1) Set goals for yourself – Focus on today, but keep an eye on the future. Psychology is showing that happiness depends on moving forward toward what you want out of life. Unfortunately, many in recovery think that they have to focus only on keeping away from drugs and dealing with their personal “issues” of depression, guilt, anger, and so on. But we now know that if you don’t make progress toward some goals, your quality of life will suffer.

2.2) Live for more than yourself – The old idea of focusing only on yourself doesn’t work. We now know that living for something bigger than yourself is very important for happiness. Whatever that looks like is up to the individual. It’s a personal choice. Sunshine Coast alumni have reported various things they are living for: family, the environment, helping youth, playing music for audiences, volunteering with the homeless, and so on. Actor Christopher Reeve who, in spite of paralysis from the neck down due to a equestrian accident, lived for his wife, child, and for doing his part to raise money for spinal research.

2.3) Don’t get suckered by intensity – One of the key themes at Sunshine Coast is that addicts substitute living intensely for living meaningfully. Addicts love intensity. They love the adrenalin rush. They love excitement. Boredom often comes quickly and a great way to eliminate boredom (but only temporarily) is to do something intense. A much better tactic is to find something personally meaningful to fulfill.

Recommendation # Three: You are the Story You Tell Yourself

3.1) Change the Story You Tell Yourself – The way in which you make sense of life becomes your reality. If you think that recovery will be really difficult, then it will be difficult. If you think that having cravings is unacceptable, then they will be. If you think that it’s too embarrassing to go dancing clean and sober, then it will be. If you think you cannot have a good life until your parents change, then this will be your reality. The stories that we tell ourselves become our reality.

3.2) Just do it! – It is a remarkable fact that alumni who are thriving tell us one thing: they are doing things to help themselves. Action is more powerful than anything in recovery. Evidence of this is found in the Big Book of AA, the history of AA, and simply by talking to people who are happy in recovery – the story of AA is the story of men and women who took action to find a better life. This was not merely going to meetings. This was action in the home, at work, with friends, volunteering, and so on.

3.3) Never give up – You’ve probably heard this one on the television, in magazines, in movies. Psychologists call it various things, but a popular label right now is “resilience” or “hardiness.” This is the idea that when the going gets tough, the tough get going. (And it is one of those interesting facts that the typical millionaire in this country has gone broke six times before striking the jackpot. They didn’t give up.)

3.4) Making sense of success – Listen to how Kevin Spacey makes sense of success, the story he tells himself:

Recommendation # Four: Accept Reality

4.1) Accept suffering as natural – Despite all those advertisements that tell us suffering is bad and that we can fix it with a pill or whatever, the truth is that all people suffer. Suffering is not a bad thing. It’s how we grow as human beings. What’s bad is unnecessary suffering — suffering for no good reason.

4.2) Happiness is not the absence of suffering – Again, we seem to have this peculiar idea that to be happy, we must not suffer. If your remember your time at Sunshine Coast, you probably remember hearing about the great Viktor Frankl, who said that happiness is the byproduct of living the life you want to live. We really don’t have to work at being happy; it comes naturally as long as we are following our bliss.

4.3) Making a decision means you will lose – Most people who have a hard time making a decision recognize that deciding on one thing means they lose the other. If I go back to school, then I lose my paycheque. If I keep with my job, I don’t get trained for a new job. If I choose to have a better relationship with my family, I have to give up being the center of attention. If I choose to be assertive, I have to give up the safety of being passive. Losing out on something is not a bad thing; it is how the world works.

4.4) It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you deal with what happens to you – we find that most Sunshine Coast clients have not figured out this truth. In life, sh*t happens. People will say “no” to us, life will often be “unfair,” people will hurt us. This is simply reality.

Summing Up: Recovery Tools from Dr. Wong

Much of the new program at Sunshine Coast is based on the work of Dr. Paul Wong. Dr. Wong comes up with all sorts of little sayings. If we think about them, though, we’ll see that there’s a lot of truth in them. Here are some:

“Everybody has a racehorse and a donkey. If you don’t pay attention to the racehorse, you’re stuck with the donkey.”

“If you look at your life and it’s like you’re always in the shadows, turn around, and start looking into the light.”

“If you don’t want to be criticized, then do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”

“Why do couples quarrel? Most of the time, arguments and getting angry with each other serve the function of (a) communicating their unhappiness and (b) avoiding to confront & resolve the real issues that underlie their dissatisfaction.”

“Conformers do what others do. Cowards do what is safe. Fools do what their desires dictate. Wise people do what is right.”

“All your striving, suffering and setbacks are worth it if you are pressing towards the worthy goal of a higher calling.”

“People may not know what kind of success will make them happy, but they do know that failures and rejections do make them feel unhappy. The best way to maintain a sense of peace and contentment is to rise above success and failure and focus on doing what really matters at the present moment without expectations.”

“When tragedy strikes, we may begin by asking WHY, but at some point we need to move on to ask: What can I do to give meaning to my suffering or what can I do to make life worth living in spite of pain?”

By Geoff Thompson, MA, CCC
Program Director
Sunshine Coast Health Center

Geoff Thompson talks about the struggle that addicts have from thinking about the present to a shift to the future – about what their lives are going to be like after treatment. According to research, effective therapies are those that focus on the present with an eye on the future. For example, one of the exercises that Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl utilizes is the eulogy exercise where clients are asked to imagine their own funerals and what they hope those attending would say.