Drug Rehab Center

By Geoff Thompson – MA, CCC

Program Director

Recovery demands three connections: with yourself (self-awareness), with others, and with something that makes you feel alive and energized and vital (e.g. volunteering). We’ve talked about these connections in previous blog postings.

One of the questions clients ask is if one connection is more important than others. It’s interesting that many in active addiction have very good self-awareness (though many also struggle with this). Some of the finest literary writers produced very good books while in active addiction. Think of John O’Brien’s novel, Leaving Las Vegas. O’Brien was an alcoholic and his book provides good insight into the nature of addiction. He was fully aware of what addiction is, what it cost him, why he drank. But even self-awareness didn’t help O’Brien. He took his life while in addictive alcoholism. So, connecting with self may not be the most important connection.

According to a remarkable amount of research, the one connection that addicts seem to struggle with the most is the connection with others. Relationships. Even John O’Brien wrote about this struggle to connect with others in Leaving Las Vegas. In fact, the importance of connecting with others is the main theme of the book. And, of course, Eugene O’Neill, the Nobel-Prize winning addict-writer, recognized that it was his feeling of separation from others that was the cause of his drinking. His greatest works are about why connection with others is the key to being clean and sober. In O’Neill’s own struggles to recover, it was through rebuilding connections with his wife and parents that led him to abstinence.

You should know that psychology now promotes relationships as one of the most important factors of life. In the old days, we used to focus on the individual only, trying to understand human beings by studying them in isolation. Today, however, more and more psychologists are developing theories and models that say that the way to understand human beings is through their need to exist in relationships.

So, if we had to choose one type of connection, it would not be a bad idea to choose connection with others.

For those suffering from addiction, the big barrier to connecting with others is Harry in the Bubble—or, from the 12-step interpretation, self-centeredness. Perhaps the most horrifying thing about addiction is that it isolates the addict. This was Eugene O’Neill’s argument, and the reason for his addiction: he never felt comfortable around people (including his parents, and his first two wives and the kids he had with them). Extreme isolation. Extreme loneliness. No sense of belonging.

The reason why Harry lives in the Bubble is due directly to the addiction. Harry is doing something that society, his friends, his boss, is family, his lover, his kids say is ‘bad’. He’s spending enormous amounts of money, told that he is a reject of society, risks his physical health, loses jobs, causes extreme stress in his family, runs into trouble with the law. To continue using the substance he has to come up with all sorts of tactics. Isolation, lies to attain money for the substance, manipulation of family and friends and bosses, and so on. If Harry were not good at these tactics, he wouldn’t be a very successful addict.

The problem is that these tactics push people away. In active addiction, the addict interprets others mainly according to the principle: can they help me get and use the substance, are they neutral, or can they hinder me from getting and using the substance? A family dinner can be a place of suffering if the addict wants to get loaded; the family prevent him from using. Even being with your kids can be a problem; they might catch you out. Bosses are certainly dangerous because they can fire you—or send you to treatment. People avoid you in public; how many people want to sit next to you on the bus if you’re loaded?

In this article we’ll look at how Harry can break out of his Bubble and connect with others.

Part One — Remember the Lessons from Living at Sunshine Coast

There is a reason why Sunshine Coast Health Center is a residential treatment center. Living with others 24 hours a day and 7 days a week may not be too attractive to most new clients, but it has great therapeutic value for overcoming addiction.

For those who in active addiction learned to push others away and isolate, they have to learn new methods to live comfortably. Harry shows up in his Bubble at the center, but now his old tactics of isolating and pushing people away don’t work very well.

Perhaps Harry is in a foul mood. Likely, he has no problem letting others know he is angry, even though all the other clients are suffering with their own issues. He has no problem taking his anger out on someone else or yelling or punching a wall. Perhaps Harry is on the phone in the phone booth. He raises his voice to his lover because he is angry at the lover, even though another client in the next phone booth is having a conversation with his six-year-old. The fact that there is another client in the other phone booth does not even register with Harry. Perhaps Harry does not care about keeping his room clean and tidy. The fact that this is expected of him at Sunshine Coast does not matter to him. Why should it? He has not paid attention to policies or laws or family requests for many years. Even if his roommate complains at Harry’s mess, it often doesn’t matter to Harry because he is in his Bubble. When you live in a Bubble, nothing outside the bubble really matters.

If Harry continues to act this way, he’ll soon discover that other clients want little to do with him. If he doesn’t change— doesn’t learn to connect with the other clients— he’ll likely be miserable in treatment. Rather than change, he’ll probably start inventing all sorts of nonsense to get himself out: other clients are jerks, counsellors are useless, and so on. But almost always, Harry learns to connect. The same requirement is demanded of the clients around Harry. They have to learn to connect with him. If they don’t, they’ll run screaming out the front gate.

Clients at Sunshine Coast learn to pay attention to others and what others are feeling, especially in small group. They discover that they share a great deal with others, that they are accepted warts and all.

In short, they begin to connect with others by seeing them as suffering human beings. All this effort helps Harry to connect with other clients, and other clients figure out how to connect with Harry.

Part Two — The Secret to Connecting with Others

The great thinker Martin Buber gave us the key to good relationships. Buber said that we have to treat others as valuable and worthwhile human beings, what he called the “I-Thou” relationship.

Treating another person as worthwhile and important usually takes practice. How many times have you seen one person treat another with disrespect, which then leads to an angry reaction from the person insulted? The justification is, of course, ‘well, he started it’. If you are an alumni of Sunshine Coast, you may have been reminded by your counsellor that simply because someone treats you disrespectfully is not a reason to treat them disrespectfully. You are still the author of how you react. But this is a tough one.

The blessing of learning to connect with others using ‘I-Thou’ is that you will feel better. Life will be more rewarding. You lose the feeling that you are an outcast, that you are different than others. You gain a sense of belonging, of fitting in, of being part of.

These benefits are precisely why connecting with others is so important for recovery. The great psychiatrist Viktor Frankl said that the reason addicts use substances is because they have little connection with others. Because of this, life has little personal meaning. But those who connect with others at a deep level discover that life is exciting and meaningful.

Part Three — Dating

Connecting with an intimate partner is another type of relationship. The key is to have two healthy equals come together in a relationship.

Because most in early recovery are filled with guilt and shame, they may not think that they are worth much. One client told us the reason he dated certain women in bars is because he didn’t think a healthy woman would want to be around him.

Cathy Patterson-Sterling, Director of Family Services at Sunshine Coast, offers an example of a doomed dating relationship: Rescuing a damsel in distress. It is interesting how many clients and alumni seek out someone to rescue. They tell us that they are doing ‘good’, helping the less fortunate. But if we operate according to principle of equality in relationships, we can see that rescuing the damsel is not a partnership among equals.

Similar to rescuing the damsel is the notorious practice at 12-step meetings of ‘thirteenth stepping’, another doomed connection. A person new in the fellowship is vulnerable. Another member sees this and acts as if he or she (yes, it goes both ways) can help the vulnerable member. Of course, the older AA member is simply using the vulnerable person to satisfy his or her lust or loneliness. Using another person for your benefit is hardly a relationship of equals.

Another example is that some in recovery go on dates, and they don’t even really like the person. To use a heterosexual example, they date a beautiful woman and like to be seen in public with her. Other guys stare at his date, which makes the fellow feel good about himself. This, too, is using another person for their benefit.

Some use the ‘victim’ role to attract dates. Being needy is attractive to those who need someone to rescue. Obviously, this is not a good basis for a relationship.

Part Four — Connecting with Others Helps Connect with Yourself

It is one of those things about human beings that how they make sense of themselves has a lot to do with how others treat them.

This is one of the main dynamics behind group therapy. How you treat others in the group—how you connect with them—will likely determine how they treat you. Members of a group learn quickly that if you don’t show up on time for group, interrupt others, focus only when the topic shifts to something you are interested in, and so on, then you will not form good connections with others. When other group members see your behavior, they conclude that you have no interest in them and so won’t bother trying pursuing a connection.

If other people continue to avoid making connections with the person, he’ll likely be more convinced than ever that he is unworthy of caring. And so, he’ll just keep behaving as he does. It’s a vicious circle.

On the other hand, if you approach others with the attitude that they are important, you generally find that you are well treated. And based on this constant feedback, you will likely come to believe that you are a good person, decent person. And, of course, being a good person will likely help you to continue to treat others well.

Dr. Ken Hart, one of Canada’s foremost addiction researchers, reports new research on overcoming shame. Studies have found that the experience of having someone forgive you actually helps you to forgive yourself. And forgiving yourself is one of the key factors in overcoming feelings of shame. In this example, you make sense of yourself based in great measure by how another treats you. This is why helping out in the community often makes someone feel better. To use an extreme example, let’s say an alcoholic killed a child while driving intoxicated. We’ve discovered that one way to help alleviate guilt is for the person to volunteer with kids in the community or create a foundation to help underprivileged kids or some other activity. Because of this effort, the alcoholic will get feedback from others, likely positive. This feedback often helps the alcoholic in the process to forgive himself.

By Cathy Patterson-Sterling, MA, RCC
Director of Family Services
Sunshine Coast Health Center

PART FOUR OF FOUR

The Transition From Addiction Treatment To Adulthood

Some parents are concerned because when their adult children complete treatment, they have no resources. For example, many adult children do not have jobs, living accommodations, or assets. In such situations, it is not recommended that parents have their adult children move back home with them because it is very easy to slip back into the cycle of rescuing, managing, and over-functioning. Furthermore, if parents are going to provide support or a step-down transition out of treatment then there should be an objective agreement drafted with accountability conditions. Parents need to be careful that they are respecting the adulthood of their children and do not use agreements as a way to further manage their children. These agreements would be worded in a format similar to a tenancy contract. Also parents need to first consider their emotional as well as financial limits before they move to the stage of negotiating a contract of support with their adult children. The following steps below are very helpful in this process.

Steps involved in creating a transitional support agreement:

Step #1. The parents have a conversation with each other to discuss the reality of how much they are prepared to spend emotionally and financially to support their adult child to transition out of treatment. The parameters of emotional and financial support are discussed between the parents.

Step #2. The adult child explores options around what they will do post-treatment (ie. living accommodations, job, etc). Adult child also examines how they can choose a plan whereby they are able to express their adulthood as well as independence while also meeting the requirements included in the plan.

Step #3. The adult child and parents meet with or without a counsellor to discuss different options around transitional support after treatment such as options for living, working, and so on. The adult child may also consider the results of a career assessment in their examination of options.

Step #4. Parents share the the limits of the support they are willing to provide emotionally and financially. Accountability measures may be discussed as well as an examination of what will occur if the adult child does not maintain recovery and has a relapse. For example, financial support may cease or there is an expectation the adult child will return to intensive counselling and/or residential treatment. Individual circumstances may vary widely for each family.

Step #5. The parents and the adult child examine how they can be respectful of each other’s adulthood on both sides. What will the relationship look like in recovery? What type of support does the adult child need in recovery?

Managing the “Worry Monster” During the Transition To Adulthood

One of the greatest challenges for parents of adult children is managing the “worry monster.”  Even if adult children are doing well post-recovery, parents can easily be consumed by their anxiety about the future. There are three common emotions that can cause parents to enter back into a rescuing cycle and take back the gift of adulthood that they are offering to their adult children. These emotions include:

Fear- Some parents worry that their adult children cannot succeed and that bad things will happen. As a result, such parents fall back into patterns of over-functioning, rescuing, and managing. Parents can worry that their adult children are around “bad influences” and in an attempt to clear away bad friends or other negative factors, they end up returning to managing their children’s lives.

Guilt- Some parents feel badly for choices they have made earlier in life like divorcing or working long hours. Perhaps such parents were not able to give their children all the advantages needed while growing up. As a result, parents may try to compensate now and out of guilt they will undermine the progress of independence which is necessary for their children’s adulthood.  For example, parents may, out of guilt, make their adult children’s lives easier by paying off debts and not allowing their adult children to be responsible or accountable.

Parents need to remember that guilt is an indulgent activity that selfishly meets their own needs while undermining the progress of their adult child’s independence. We can only change our current, not past, actions. Furthermore, we may be overestimating the impact of our past mistakes and, instead, transferring all of our unresolved emotional issues into guilt. This guilt is actually one of our own emotional areas for growth and may have nothing to do with our children.

Pity- Some parents have a deficit-focused view of their adult children. For example, there are parents who believe their children are “special” or incapable of being adults because they always make bad decisions. Secretly, parents may even pity their children because these individuals have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder), Generalized Anxiety Disorders, or are challenged in some way. In such cases, parents may position themselves as being the strong high-functioning people in the relationships and they would lose their own identities if they were not in a position of helping their adult children who they presume are weak.  The challenge in these situations is for parents to “re-write” their stories of who they believe their children are in life and to move from a deficit-focus to noticing all the strengths and abilities in these adult children. Remember what we pay attention to grows!

If parents experience this roadblock and start to undermine their adult children’s independence then they may wish to explore in their own healing journey of who they are outside of their children’s challenges. Sometimes parents who end up bonding in crisis can enmesh their identities with their children so addiction then becomes a catalyst for people on both sides to grow as well as positively transform out of this crisis.

Conclusion

The parenting journey is one of the most valuable and rewarding experiences in life, requiring great faith and tremendous courage. We applaud you in your healing!

By Daniel Jordan
General Manager
Sunshine Coast Health Center

For the families we are privileged to serve at Sunshine Coast Health Center, starting residential drug rehabilitation can be a roller coaster of emotions. Starting treatment is really about wholesale change since, by the time we get involved, addiction has progressed to the point where everything our clients hold dear – family, friends, health, and home – is in jeopardy. For clients and their families alike, addiction treatment can be symbolized as the light at the end of a very dark tunnel.

Starting Treatment Can Be Overwhelming

Unfortunately, however, clients may be hopeful but can also be awash with conflicting emotions, particularly fear. Regardless of how dysfunctional their addict lifestyle has become, at least it’s familiar. Judging by the questions we get, nothing about treatment is familiar. Where am I going? Who will I be sharing a room with? How long am I going for? Can I use the telephone? These are basic questions but most clients at this point in their recovery are in no shape to go to our website and research our program beforehand.  

In 2008, Sunshine Coast Health Center managed a retention rate of 89.41 percent for clients who were admitted to treatment. So our internal research gives families pretty good odds that their loved one will complete treatment.

Another piece of good news is that the majority of the 1 in 10 that did not complete treatment * left in the first week. Therefore, if your loved one makes it through the first week the actual likelihood of completing treatment at Sunshine Coast Health Center is closer to 93 percent.

The third piece of good news is that there are steps that family members can take to make the odds even better. By following some basic recommendations, family members can actually help keep their loved ones in treatment.

(*) Note: includes clients who left due to either leaving against staff advice (ASA), at staff request due to a dischargeable offense (ASR), leaving without notice (AWOL), or due to medical complications (MD).

Why Some Clients Want to Leave Treatment Early

First off, it’s important to understand why some clients want to leave treatment early. It is easy to dismiss a client’s decision to leave treatment early as nothing more than ‘not being ready’ or an overwhelming desire to get drunk or high. However, as is often the case with addiction, it’s not that simple. Most clients in early recovery struggle with ambivalence. Early recovery offers the promise of better days, the expectations of significant others, the uncertainty of a life in recovery, and the daunting task of cleaning up the huge mess that awaits them back home. Usually, when confronted by reality, the automatic response for addicts is to escape with drugs, alcohol, gambling, or sex. In treatment, however, that is not an option.

Clients Often Call Home Before They Leave Treatment

There is really no prevailing behaviour for clients who decide to leave treatment early. Some don’t hesitate to make their intentions clear the minute they arrive, while some clients keep it such a secret that staff don’t know until they find a note on a pillow the next morning. Somewhere in between these two extremes is the client who calls home first before leaving treatment. If you are one of those unfortunate family members who gets that call in the middle of the night, it is important to remember that you may be the first person who is aware of your loved one’s decision. Staff may be busy performing their duties, unaware that a client in their midst is moments away from ‘making a run for it’.

Why Clients Call Home Before Leaving Treatment

If we take a moment to reflect, it’s actually a huge opportunity for positive change when clients call home before they leave. After all, if someone was really intent on leaving, they wouldn’t complicate matters by calling home first. That phone call can represent one of two things: (1) they don’t have the resources to leave or (2) they are seeking approval before they leave treatment. Either way, you as a family member are far from being a helpless victim to your loved one’s intentions.

Three Possible Outcomes for The Same Scenario

To learn how to effectively deal with a loved one who calls home and is intent on leaving treatment early, one scenario is presented with four different scenarios based on how you, the family member, respond to your loved one.

Scenario: A client calls home late one night wants to leave treatment. You, the family member, have a telephone conversation with Cathy Patterson-Sterling, Director of Family Services, the following day:

Family Member: “Hi there. Keith called me last night and told me that his stay there wasn’t how he thought it was going to be. He complained that he just can’t relate to the other clients there and he just can’t imagine having to stay there for 6 more weeks.”

Cathy: “Oh, that’s unfortunate. Now, remember what we talked about while Keith was on his way to the treatment center? I pointed out that individuals in their first week of treatment have to contend with unfamiliar surroundings and strangers. To complicate matters, they are also going through withdrawal and don’t have their drug of choice to fall back on, so they will often try to think of a reason to leave treatment. Do you remember our conversation?”

Family Member: “Yes, I remember that.”

Cathy: “Right. That is why we reviewed all of the excuses that you could expect were going to come up and one of them was that about the “wrong peer group”. So, when Keith told you he wanted to leave, how did you respond?”

Response A

Family Member: “Well, I thought about what you said but then I thought what’s the point of Keith staying in treatment if he’s just going to be hiding out in his room the whole time he’s there? So I booked a flight for him.”

Conclusion to Response A: The client packs his bags and leaves treatment. The family member pays for his flight. Keith flies home.

Response B

Family Member: “Well, I thought about what you said and I told him that I wasn’t going to pay for his cab or his airfare to come home. Besides, I told him, if he does come back he won’t be staying here and I won’t be paying his car insurance either. Then I hung up.”

Conclusion to Response C: The client, realizing that he’s got nowhere else to go, decides to stay, at least for as long as he can figure out another option. Treatment center staff remain unaware of the situation.

Response C

Family Member: “Well, I thought about what you said, so I immediately hung up the phone, then called the treatment center and talked to one of the night staff there.”

Conclusion to Response B: A counsellor was called in to talk to Keith. It turns out that Keith was homesick for his daughter. Keith feels he has not been much of a father due to his preoccupation with his addiction and was overwhelmed with guilt. The counsellor was able to talk Keith through his overwhelming emotional state. Keith decided to stay in treatment for at least a week and try to work through his feelings of guilt with his assigned counsellor and peer group.

Response D

Family Member: “Well I thought about what you said and reassured him that he was probably just going through an adjustment period. I also told him that there was no way he could come home until after he completes treatment. Then I hung up and called the treatment center.”

Conclusion to Response D: Client feels he has no other option but to stay in treatment. Staff are aware of the situation with a conclusion similar to Response C. However, this time the client, realizing that he is not welcome at home until he completes treatment, commits to staying for the duration of treatment.

Conclusion

Obviously, conversations of this nature are not always as cut and dry as what was presented here. Remember, if a loved one calls home and tells you that he wants to leave treatment, it’s because he needs  your money, your approval, or assurance that life can return back to the way it used to be before treatment.

Regardless of the rationale, you are not powerless in the face of apparently dire circumstances.

Furthermore, taking a firm line with your loved one and partnering with the staff in crisis situations is critical. So, the minute you hang up the phone with your loved one call the treatment center for support. Don’t assume that staff know about your family member’s intentions. Finally, don’t worry about being a nuisance. Typically, these types of calls happen late at night when clients are not busy engaged in the program or have the support of their peers. Don’t worry about it being too late at night to call. Staff are here, 24/7 and are prepared for these little emergencies.

For more information read the Sunshine Coast Health Center pamphlet, Contact Guidelines for Family Members.

By Geoff Thompson – MA, CCC 
Program Director

Lots of addiction experts believe that one of the greatest barriers to recovery is that clients have internalized the stigma of addiction. Basically, this means that clients think of themselves as ‘failures’ or ‘diseased’ or ‘irresponsible’ or having ‘defective character traits’ or a ‘defective personality’, and so on.

It’s not surprising that they think of themselves like this. Watch any real-life cop show, and you will see most of those arrested are addicts. And pretty stupid ones at that. The impression is that all addicts are criminals. Watch Oprah or the afternoon talk shows, and you will hear the ‘experts’ condemning the addict as incapable of making decisions, an immoral person, and so on. Watch just about any movie, and you will hear that addicts are either the cause of human suffering or that those in recovery are only one drink away from catastrophe.

Governments sponsor prevention programs that tell young people to “just say no,” as if the addiction were no more than a simple choice. The typical message is that a “poor choice” to use drugs leads inevitably to disaster. Almost all treatment programs claim that drugs leave users incapable of reasonable thinking, which is why they tell clients what to think and what to do. A counsellor on the Intervention television show said that he felt his work with a client was successful because the client “learned that he couldn’t trust himself.” Documentaries regularly show addicts as irresponsible mothers, fathers, and partners. In several BC communities, local politicians routinely blame addicts as the main cause of suffering in their communities.

As if all this weren’t enough, popular opinion has raised the power of drugs to almost magical levels. Newspapers and television tell us that just using a drug a couple of times will plunge the user into the abyss.

Experts have noticed that this sort of exaggeration is a real detriment to recovery because those struggling to get off the drugs often believe what they hear. Two of the more famous experts are Stanton Peele and Steven Hayes. Peele tells us that these messages actually increase the drug problem because they are “one-sided propaganda” and do not match what we know from research, which is that most people in our society use drugs and yet go on to live good lives. Hayes developed a treatment program specifically to help addicts overcome the stigma of their addiction, which he considers one of the greatest barriers to recovery.

What do Peele and Hayes know? Here are some interesting studies. Researchers studied those convicted with a DUI, who were ordered to attend the Victim Impact Panel (VIP), sponsored by Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD). It turns out that attending VIP actually increased the chances that the person would later be charged with another DUI. The reason was that VIP increased the stigma felt by participants, which led them to drink more. The most popular drug prevention program, Drug Awareness Resistance Education (DARE), is based on the stigma. Research has shown that not only does DARE not work, but that with some kids it actually increases drug use. And studies comparing recovering addicts with those recovering from cancer and other illnesses have shown that the stigma of addiction significantly decreases successful outcomes for the addicts. In BC, we know that at least two-thirds of those with mental health or addiction symptoms do not seek help because of the stigma attached to addiction: they fear losing their kids, being denied health insurance, losing jobs, losing their driver’s licence, etc.

So what can be done about all this? In this blog article, we’ll try to figure out how people with addictions can self-assess whether they have internalized the stigma (bought into the popular opinion) and, if so, what can be done to get rid of it.

Internalizing the stigma of addiction? Part I

Steven Hayes begins his therapy for addicts by asking them to complete an inventory to see how addiction has affected their lives. He then talks with them about what they were thinking and feeling as they completed the questionnaire.

Inevitably, his clients say that they felt badly about all the money they had spent, the relationships that were destroyed, the jobs lost, and so on. They have made sense of their addiction by assuming what the popular media and politicians say is true: they are failures, losers, and defectives. Hayes argues that these beliefs inhibit their recovery. Even though they may pay lip-service to the idea that addiction is a health issue, the more powerful thought is ‘…but I must be a defective person because I became an addict’.

At Sunshine Coast Health Center when we listen to the stories of clients, we hear a catalogue of embarrassment and shame. This is particularly evident in the week before Family Program—it’s almost a guarantee that there will be more chaos during this week than other weeks, which is the a common sign that clients feel stressed. Clients keep secret their worries: What will my family tell the counsellors? Will I get caught in a lie? Do I have to plan to keep certain family members away? What’s going to happen to me when I sit in with my family Sunday afternoon?

And the big one—Will the counsellor explain to the family that the things I did in active addiction were not really me?

These feelings and thoughts are typical of those who have internalized the stigma of addiction. For them, it’s very tough to break away from the popular idea that addicts are defective.

Internalizing the stigma of addiction? Part II

Here are five public statements that describe addiction: 

• Canadian Human Rights Act, Part I, Section 25: “disability means any previous or existing mental or physical disability and includes disfigurement and any previous or existing dependence on alcohol or a drug” (1985)

• Canadian Society of Addiction Medicine (CSAM): “Addiction…[is] a primary, chronic disease…. Like other chronic diseases, it can be progressive, relapsing and fatal” (1999)

• Nora Volkow, head of the National Institute of Drug Abuse (NIDA): “…addiction is a chronic brain disease” (2007)

• Bill W: Alcoholism is a “spiritual” condition (1939)

• Psychologist Paul Wong: “Addiction is a response to living a life that lacks personal meaning” (2005)

So, we have descriptions from very reputable sources, who tell us that addiction is a health problem or a response to a meaningless, monotonous, and boring life. When we think about someone suffering a medical condition or having a need to find meaning, we generally don’t jump to the conclusion that the person is weak or has a flawed personality or is making some conscious choice about having or not having the condition. Would you consider Terry Fox as having a flawed personality because he suffered from a medical disability? Would you condemn Anne Rice or KD Lang as being irresponsible because they searched for a meaningful life?

Tips for overcoming the stigma of addiction

Almost everyone has an addiction has, consciously or unconsciously, internalized the stigma. And overcoming this is tough.

The late US senator, Harold Hughes, lamented that addicts face the same stigma that those with mental health issues used to have to put up with. Today, the public understands that depression or bipolar disorder, etc, are not choices—that there is a neurobiological vulnerability to mental health struggles. But this is not yet true for addiction: so many people still tar the addict as irresponsible and immoral.

Here are three tips to overcome the stigma.

Tip One: Remember that science has confirmed that not everyone can become an addict. It seems that addicts have a neurobiological vulnerability to addiction. Neuroscientist James Kalat put it this way: “Addiction isn’t in the drug, it’s in the person.” The famous addict-writer William S. Burroughs stated the obvious: “No one ever wants to be an addict.”

Tip Two: When you think you need to defend yourself against others, stop. Addiction neuroscientist Carlton Erickson recounts the story of a person who wrote on a reply card to an invitation to hear Betty Ford talk at a fundraiser for alcohol research: “I’ll never give a penny to help those d**n drunks.” There’s not much anyone can say to such a person. And your job in recovery is not to change these people.

Tip Three: Be conscious of the language you use to describe yourself. You have probably used descriptions of yourself that are based on the stigma: I’m a drug fiend, a drunk, etc. In fact, one of the reasons why 12-step programs are offensive to some is because they believe that saying, “Hi, my name is Harry, and I’m an addict” reduces them to a label. (This is not the intention of AA/NA, by the way.) We would never expect a patient at a hospital to introduce himself as “Hi, my name is Sue, and I’m cardiomyopathy.”

Overcoming the stigma of addiction: Self-determination

At Sunshine Coast clients often hear the statement, “You are the author of your life.”

A good example of this concept is the actress Drew Barrymore. At 13, Barrymore was called, quite publicly, “the youngest drug addict in America.” ‘Experts’ pointed out that she grew up with a family of addicts and thus was at the mercy of the addict’s genetics. They pointed out that she was doomed unless she started to listen to experts. Imagine what the young teen must have thought of herself, having all these ‘experts’ declare publicly that she was defective, powerless over addiction, and at the mercy of her genetics (Actually, we know; she wrote an autobiography, Little Girl Lost.)

As Drew grew into adulthood, she gave up the drugs. Experts, such as Stanton Peele, point out that the young woman refused to reduce her life to the label ‘addict’. She refused to believe the experts when they equated her life with addiction. She refused to identify herself with the stigma.

What if Drew actually bought into the pronouncements from Dr. Phil and the others? It is very likely that she would have never achieved the success she has today. It’s difficult to imagine a successful person who believes they are defective, cannot make good decisions, cannot trust themselves, etc.

Addiction neuroscientist Carleton Erickson also reminds us that many people “have a desire to hold drug users accountable for their actions. Individuals who may have been emotionally, physically, or financially affected by other people’s drinking and drugging may be loath to ‘let them off’ by saying they couldn’t help it.”

At Sunshine Coast, we remind clients that their job is not to change negative people; that’s their job because they are the authors of their lives.