Drug Rehab Center

Geoff Thompson, MA, CCC

Geoff Thompson, Program Director for Sunshine Coast Health Centre, discusses author Anne Lamott’s view of “Do the next right thing” at times when you are feeling overwhelmed by life’s decisions.

By Daniel Jordan, General Manager

The other day I was at the library and came across a DVD called Bill Moyers on Faith & Reason which is a 7-part series that helps shed light on the gray area between faith (having an open heart) and reason (having an open mind). Bill Moyers is the acclaimed journalist who has been a mainstay on Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) for many years and in Faith & Reason he is joined by some of the world’s most provocative thinkers and writers. One of the series that I found very relevant to a better understanding of addiction was Bill Moyer’s interview with Pema Chodron, perhaps North America’s most prominent practitioner of Buddhism. For the past 30 years, Pema has been a Buddhist nun and has written extensively on Buddhism including When Things Fall Apart, The Places That Scare You, and No Time to Lose.

Pema’s work in exploring Buddhism and making it more accessible to a larger audience has also made it possible to show how Buddhism’s teachings can benefit people struggling with addiction.

Lesson One: Distingishing Between Pain and Suffering

According to Pema, “it isn’t the things that happen to us in our lives that cause us to suffer, it’s how we relate to the things that happen to us that cause us to suffer.” Typically, it’s not the physical but the emotional pain that we struggle with most such as that which we experience with rejection, abandonment, or loss. For Pema, it was the day her husband of 30 years came home to announce that he was leaving her for another woman. After many years of struggling with her husband’s betrayal, Pema came to realize that while she could not undo what had already happened or pretend like it never happened, she could ‘let go’ of the need to suffer.

Lesson Two: Shenpa and Being ‘Hooked’

You may have heard the term ‘hooked’ but it is often associated with ice hockey, drugs, even phonics. Pema’s definition of hooked, however, comes from the Tibetan word ‘shenpa,’ meaning an unwillingness of human beings to let go of certain thoughts, particularly those that cause us suffering. For those familiar with Buddhism, shenpa is more than just attachment since, according to one of Pema’s teachers, Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche,  ”attachment doesn’t touch the magnitude of shenpa and the effect that it has on us.”

As a metaphor, Pema compares shenpa to scabies where shenpa is the the itch that goes along with it and the urge to scratch. Shenpa is a universal condition that all human beings share. For example, when someone says something to hurt your feelings your first reaction will be physical – a tightening in the face or in your stomach – then an outward (anger, blame) or inward (self-pity, self-blame) spiral of negative feelings and emotions. Even though this can happen many times a day, when we are hooked, we often aren’t even aware of it.

For people with addictions, shenpa is how drugs or alcohol are used when we are ‘hooked’ by a feeling or an urge. Like any shenpa, people who abuse drugs or alcohol don’t want to suffer but they often love the thing that causes the suffering. The thing that causes the suffering for addicts is more obvious (drugs and alcohol) than in the rest of society but it’s basically the same thing. Anger can have, as Pema puts it, the same ’delicious’ quality (such as feelings of superiority or being victimized) that keeps people hooked on anger even when they know it won’t make things better.

De-Escalating From Shenpa

Over time, we can reduce the negative effects of shenpa through a process of ‘de-escalation’ since, we can never entirely rid ourselves of shenpa. First, Pema recommends that we merely become aware of shenpa: observe it in both ourselves and in others. Next, we can slow the escalation of shenpa by noticing our breathing. Third, by leaning into the feeling rather than fighting it we can observe physical sensations in your body and the thoughts in our mind. The fourth and final step involves letting go and getting on with the day. This four-step process can be challenging, particularly during the awkward early stages of practicing de-escalation, however, it is the start of loosening the grip that shenpa has over us. 

Pema recommends that people who want to reduce the amount of shenpa in their life start with the little things first that cause suffering. There’s a million little shenpas – line ups in the grocery store, the way people drive, mosquito bites – and if you work with these you can slowly strengthen your ability to deal with the more challenging shenpas such as criticism, embarrassment, or loneliness.

Lesson Three: Groundlessness and Distractions

Part of what attracted Pema to Buddhism was its focus on the present moment. Pema saw that most human beings are afraid of negative feelings and are constantly scrambling to find ways to avoid feelings of embarrassment, boredom, anxiety, etc. Pema calls these moments of insecurity ‘groundlessness’ or being ‘off-balance.’ Human beings avoid the experience of groundlessness in a very effective way – we get distracted.

For example, when you are flying in a commercial jet, notice how uncomfortable the other passengers are with doing nothing. Imagine what would happen if there was no in-flight entertainment, no snacks or meals, nothing to read, and hand-held devices such as Ipods were not allowed. But it’s not just keeping our five senses busy that keep us preoccupied, it is also our internal thoughts. Pema claims we are addicted to these distractions and are quite willing to spend hours, days, and years avoiding the discomfort of being alone with our inner most thoughts.

For people with addictions, boredom can often jeopardize sobriety. While most ‘normal’ people will resort to ‘harmless’ distractions such as mindless channel surfing or checking email on their Blackberry, someone with a chemical dependency will drink a case of beer while someone with a food addiction will eat a pail of ice cream.

As far as Pema is concerned, as long as human beings are constantly scrambling to avoid feelings of groundlessness, there will always be wars, hatred, prejudice, and addiction.

‘Hanging Out’ with Groundlessness

It may seem paradoxical, but individuals can learn to ‘hang out’ with feelings of groundlessness. Buddhists practice meditation as a way to bring ‘room to the mind’ and take time out from the ‘busyness’ of life. While we may at first feel very threatened by a sense that nothing is happening (interestingly, Pema describes her initial experience with meditation akin to “an intense detox” or “climbing the walls”), over time your senses will seem more alive and the constant chattering voices will subside. Meditation allows us to hang out with our thoughts, free from judging and resisting them.

Using Groundlessness as a Force for Positive Change

Pema’s story of marital infidelity points to an event that shook her to her very core. She couldn’t just shake off feelings of anger, loss, hurt, betrayal, and worthlessness off through distractions. Eventually, as Pema tells in her interview, she felt that her husband leaving her was the best thing that ever happened since previous to his disclosure, Pema lived, in her words, a ‘superficial life.’ Only two years after her husband left her, Pema had become a Buddhist nun and had ‘found her niche’ doing something that continues to provide her with a sense of endless abundance, meaning and purpose.

For individuals struggling with drugs and alcohol, addiction can also be a blessing if one has the willingness to experience moments of groundlessness and make positive change.

Lesson Four: Don’t Look Out There, Go Within

Pema uses a metaphor to emphasize this point. Suppose you are barefoot in a field of thornbushes. To take away the pain of walking through the field covered in thornbushes, you could criticize the farmer for not cutting down the thornbushes or you could wish that the field was covered in giant strips of leather. Or you could simply wrap the leather around your foot.

In the same way, we all have the choice of finding happiness by trying to change the world or by working on ourselves.

Lesson Five: Don’t Forget Your Past, Celebrate It!

Pema suggests that we don’t lose touch with our past suffering because that’s what keeps us relating to others. Along the same lines, remembering our past suffering can help us empathize with others and practice humility.

Lesson Six: Faith Without Works is Dead

In the New Testament, James 2:14-26 reminds Christians that “for as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.” It appears that Buddhists such as Pema Chodron think the same way. In her interview with Bill Moyers, Pema states that she has devoted her life to escalating love, kindness, and compassion and de-escalating violence and aggression. When Bill Moyers wonders if Buddhism is nothing more than long periods of silence holed up in exotic temples, Pema responds by saying that ”if the result of my life is that I lived a life of seclusion, it wouldn’t add up to a hill of beans. I always go in and out of seclusion so that I can be more present for others.” *

Similarly, for people with addictions, going to meetings or reading the Big Book may not be enough: one must also also practice what one preaches and be of service to others.

(*) Note: Pema Chodron has taken a vow to awaken herself and to the degree that she raises her own awareness, help others to reach the same level of awareness.

Conclusion

Bill Moyer’s interview with Pema Chodron points out that the spiritual practices of Buddhism can reduce the suffering of people from all walks of life regardless of race, religion or creed. By introducing concepts such as groundlessness and shenpa, the teachings of Buddhism and its proponents suggest that addiction is a universal condition: problems with drugs and alcohol are simply different symptoms of the same condition or an extreme example of what lengths people will take to avoid suffering.

Recommended Articles

Buddhism and recovery: Working on the self to lead a healthy life (May/June 2005) Addiction Today article.

The Shenpa Syndrome (September 2002) is an introduction to the concept of shenpa by Pema Chodron. In this article, there is a lot of discussion on addiction, particularly chemical dependency.

Recommended Books

12 Steps on the Buddha’s Path: Bill, Buddha and We (2006) Laura S., Sylvia Boorsteing

Mindful Recovery (2002) Thomas Bien

One Breath at a Time (2004) Kevin Griffin

Still Waters: Sobriety, Atonement, and Unfolding Enlightenment (2006) William Alexander

The Zen of Recovery (1993) Mel Ash

Recommended Websites

Buddhist Recovery supports the use of Buddhist teachings, traditions and practices to help people recovery from the suffering caused by addictive behaviours.

Gampo Abbey is a Western Buddhist Monastery in the Shambhala Tradition located in Pleasant Bay, Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. Pema Chodron is the principal teacher at Gampo Abbey. 

Great Path Tapes and Books – has a complete library of Pema Chodron teachings (retail only). Great Path also has the Great Path YouTube site that has free videos of Pema.

Judith Ragir is a Zen priest and teacher who lives in St. Paul, Minnesota. Judith has a number of lectures provided as audio recordings that try to bring together 12-Step recovery work, Buddhism and meditation.

Kevin Griffin has a website that integrates recovery and Buddhism.

Shambhala Community – is a global community of 170 centres around the workld that offers courses in meditation, other contemplative arts and disciplines, hosts community gatherings, celebrations and family events.

By Daniel Jordan, General Manager

“And now let us believe in the new year that is given us, new, untouched, full of things that have never been.”

- Rainer Maria Rilke

Well, it’s that time of year again when advertisers really turn up the heat on getting healthy. While losing weight, eating right, quitting smoking and getting fit are all worthy goals, however, we all know that most of these news year’s resolutions never make it to February. Could it be that we’re not really committed to being healthy? Have we set the bar too high and then quit out of frustration? While both scenarios are common,  committed people with attainable goals also fail.

Having Too Much on our Plates May Partly Explain Why Most of Us Fail to Keep New Year’s Resolutions

We’ve all been there. While at a family gathering at Christmas you catch yourself reaching for one too many sweets or that extra serving of turkey. After the holidays, it’s time to turn over a new leaf, which may include buying a gym membership, weight-loss pills, or the latest diet book. These may all be good steps to reaching your ultimate goal, but are these steps compatible with your lifestyle? What if your lifestyle was thwarting your best laid plans?

Perhaps an account of my recent Christmas family holiday to the Philippines may illustrate the point.

A Lesson in Living Simply: My Vacation in Manila

Over the Christmas holidays, my family and spent 3 weeks with my inlaws in Manila, Philippines. It was not long before I realized that, in order to enjoy my vacation, I was going to have to make some quick adjustments to the usual daily routine I had grown accustomed to back in Vancouver. These adjustments included:

1. Disconnecting from Technology - I probably didn’t notice how “wired” I was to technology until I was forced to do without it. My cell phone did not work, there was no computer at my wife’s parents place, and the 16 hour time difference made even a simple phone call to Canada difficult. Furthermore, TV programming was mostly in the local language, Tagalog, or designed for an Asian audience.

2. Staying Home – In Canada, if I want to go somewhere I would jump in the car and go. In Manila, I needed a driver to contend with heavy traffic, a lack of road signs and parking. I didn’t want to impose so I pretty much stayed close to home or went by foot if my destination was within walking distance. 

3. Sleeping Early, Rising Early – in Manila, I was bagged by 8 pm and wide awake by 5 am. I think heat had more to do with it than jet lag since my sleep schedule was the same right to the end of my three week stay.

4. Spending Lots of Time with the Family - at least 3 to 4 times a week the extended family would come over for lunch, dinner or merienda * (I was assured that this was typical for the whole year and not just because we were visiting). No scheduled sports or music lessons were allowed to interfere as the entire group would stay huddled around the table for coffee, tea, and dessert.

(*) Note: Spanish for mid-day snack.

Adjusting to Life Back in Vancouver

After returning to Vancouver, I recognized that I had spent the past 3 weeks living the sort of lifestyle that I had always wanted but had always seemed elusive. So I started to ask myself what made this positive change in lifestyle possible. The conclusion I came to was that my new, preferred lifestyle arrived, in part, because I had simplified my life. In the past, I always thought that to be happier I would have to add more to my schedule, buy a gadget that would make me more productive, work longer hours, etc.

This time, I realized I could simplify my life and do more with less. Some of the changes I have since made to my Vancouver lifestyle include:

1. eliminating watching TV before I go to bed. This allows me to get up earlier so I can practice my yoga before the rest of the family gets up and the phone starts ringing. Besides, the stories typically shown in the evening news were doing little for my personal well-being.
2. eliminating TV during the day. I used to have the TV in the background even while working (apologies to my colleagues).
3. being more selective about when I respond to incoming phone calls. People can always leave messages and I can always call back.
4. unsubcribing to junk email rather than having to review and delete them
5. walking to get groceries rather than driving. This allows me to spend time with my wife and get some exercise at the same time.
6. spending more time planning and preparing meals. I have found that cooking dinner (something my wife has always wanted me to help out with) is not such a big chore if I plan ahead and make sure I have all of the ingredients before diving into a recipe. My wife and I have integrated this into our walks to the grocery store.
7. ensuring that meal times are sacred and clearing away time after meals just to sit and talk. This means, walking away from my computer and joining the kids for breakfast and preparing dinner early if the kids have evening commitments.
8. buying some treats to encourage (or bribe) the kids to gather for merienda

A Surprising Definition for “Resolution”

Linking simplifying to the notion of resolution is not a new concept. According to Webster’s College Dictionary, “resolution” is defined as “the act or process of reducing to a simpler form” or “the act of analyzing a complex notion into simpler ones.” You might consider being healthy a “complex notion.”

It is only under other words in Webster’s do we see the more commonly held definition such as resolute: marked by firm determination or resolve: fixity of purpose.

Uni-Tasking can be More Effective as Multi-Tasking When it Comes to Achieving Multiple Objectives Simultaneously

In our modern times, particularly with the advent of wireless technology, many of us multi-task as a way to get more done in less time. However, I have discovered that certain tasks performed one at a time can be just as effective in reaching multiple objectives at the same time. For example, walking to the grocery store with my wife is not only exercise but also allows me to (1) prepare dinner for the following day, (2) lower my gas bill (4) feel good about lowering greenhouse gases, and (5) strengthen our relationship as partners. Yoga is another example where this one act aids in multiple objectives such as flexibility, strength, and relaxation.

Conversely, doing more than one task at a time (such as talking on my cell phone while driving) may also simultaneously achieve multiple objectives but at a cost in terms of quality. According to brain researchers at MIT, “people can’t multitask very well … we simply can’t focus on more than one thing at  a time. You’re not paying attention to one or two things simultaneously, but switching between them very rapidly.”

Personally, I have noticed another detriment to multi-tasking: mindfulness breathing becomes impossible. Typically, I have no problem watching my breathing and feeling my belly rise and fall to help me stay relaxed, focused and in the present moment. However, when I am multi-tasking there is no way I can observe my breathing since my mind is busy juggling multiple tasks that demand it’s full attention.

Applying Simplification to the Ultimate Resolution: Staying Clean and Sober

It could be said that committing to abstinence is the ultimate in resolutions. After all, the stakes are extremely high when someone relapses: divorce, loss of employment, and illness. I believe, however, that the need to simplify applies as much to people starting their recovery as it does for someone making a new year’s resolution to get fit.

Conclusion

While this in no means is a scientific study on the benefits of living a simple life, I have personally benefited from the suggestion that we can do more with less (I first heard this concept at a Wayne Dyer presentation in Vancouver last month). Admittedly, many of us don’t have the benefit of working from home, or the luxury of spending breakfast with the family. However, over time, perhaps the process of simplifying, regardless of our personal situation, can pay dividends and help us live the sort of lifestyle that can make new year’s resolutions a thing of the past.

Recommended Reading

Article

Think You’re Multitasking? Think Again (October 2, 2008) Jon Hamilton, NPR News. Discusses the findings of multitasking and switch-tasking experiments at MIT.

Books

The Myth of Multitasking (2008) Dave Crenshaw. New York Times bestseller.

Voluntary Simplicity: Toward a Life that is Outwardly Simple, Inwardly Rich (1981) Duane Elgin

Walden (1990) Henry David Thoreau. Perhaps the most famous experiment in simple living.

Websites

Mindfulness as defined by Wikipedia

The Myth of Multitasking: How “Doing It All” Gets Nothing Done is the website of author Dave Crenshaw

The Scent of Green Bananas (tsogb) has an interesting article on meriendas in Manila.

By Daniel Jordan

I came across this video featuring Gary Wood, author of Don’t Wait for Your Ship to Come In: Swim Out to Meet It, and thought that it was worth a look for two reasons: (1) it recommends a practical way to “learn” gratitude and (2) pairs gratitude with anticipation.

A Practical Way to “Learn” Gratitude

One way to “learn” gratitude, also recommended by TV personality Deborah Norville in her book, Thank You Power, is to write down in a notebook or diary (preferably before bedtime) three things you are grateful for that happened that day. Write down anything that uplifted you at the time it happened, that brought a smile to your face or your heart, or something you are glad about. Better still, after each situation, write down why this was good for your life. For example, perhaps you received a Christmas card from an old friend. You are thankful for your friend’s gesture because it reminds you of some good times you had with this person when you were young. Besides, it’s nice that someone from your old neighbourhood thinks enough of you to send you a card.

Sometimes you have to think hard about something to be grateful for, particularly if you are having a bad day. However, this mental exercise is the whole point of the exercise so keep thinking even if something doesn’t immediately come to mind. Gary Wood calls this an example of a “personal experiment” which can help individuals, at an experiential level, that perception colours our experience or, as Dr. Wood puts it, “viewing influences the doing.” By focussing on the “good stuff”, Dr. Wood suggests that you can change the way you see the world.

Your Other Daily Bookend: Anticipation

Recording 3 things for which you have gratitude for at the end of your day is a great way to develop a sense of gratitude in your life. Dr. Wood has a great way of starting your day off in similar fashion. However, the difference in the morning is that you envision, rather than reflect on, events which are worthy of thanks.  In this way, anticipation is a sort of “daily bookend” when combined with gratitude. It’s important to record 3 things you are looking forward to before you get up so that your mind is not clouded by “busyness.”

A Special Note to our Alumni

Remember the black personal planners you were provided during your stay at Sunshine Coast Health Center? Recording your daily lists of gratitude and anticipation is a great way to use your planner and maintain your recovery.

Further Learning on Gratitude

Sunshine Coast Program Director, Geoff Thompson, has recently posted a video on gratitude that spoke of the importance of gratitude for people with addictions.

By Daniel Jordan

With my wife and two of my three kids away on vaction in the Philippines (my oldest son, Spencer, and I will be joining them on Christmas day), I have had an opportunity to catch up on some reading. Thankfully, the book I have chosen, The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living, is helping me cope with not having Gina, Andi, and Harry around and the deafening silence in our normally boisterous home.

Some Background on the Happiness Trap

The Happiness Trap, written by Russ Harris, is based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) which was developed by Steven Hayes, Ph.D., out of the University of Nevada. Back in November, I had the opportunity to attend a two-day Steven Hayes workshop sponsored by Jack Hirose and Associates in Vancouver. So I have did have some understanding of ACT beforehand. Unlike the Steven Hayes workshop which was designed for a clinical audience, The Happiness Trap is more of a self-help book that anyone could apply to their own situation. To be honest, ACT was a bit bewildering until I read the Happiness Trap.

The basic premise of ACT is that happiness is more than just a matter of feeling good and that trying to hold on to happiness leads to the opposite effect. Instead of teaching new techniques to pursue happiness, ACT teaches ways to end the struggle that keeps us from realizing happiness. While ACT has been found effective in the treatment of depression, anxiety, chronic pain and addiction, it can also help anyone who is dealing with negative thoughts that lead to low self-esteem, stress, etc.

The Origins of the Need for Happiness

According to Dr. Harris , our need for happiness developed out of our primative need to (1) predict and avoid danger and (2) have a sense of belonging. While both of these needs were a matter of life or death in prehistoric times, for modern man these same needs are now creating much of our mental anguish.  According to Dr. Harris, the modern mind is “hardwired to suffer psychologically by comparing, evaluating, and criticizing ourselves, to focus on what we’re lacking, to rapidly become dissatisfied with what we have, and to imagine all sorts of frightening scenarios, most of which will never happen.”

Defining Happiness

Harris defines happiness in two ways:

TEMPORARY/EMOTIONAL – Pursuing the first form of happiness will, ultimately, lead to unhappiness because, like all emotions, happiness doesn’t last. Getting more toys, degrees, and admirers will only bring “temporary” relief. The solution becomes more of the same and eventually becomes a vicious cycle.

LIFELONG/MEANINGFUL – The second type of happiness will lead to a “sense of a life well lived” and a powerful sense of vitality. However, meaningful happiness is the less popular of the two because: (1) you have to work at it, (2) is a lifelong pursuit and (3) requires our willingness to experience uncomfortable emotions such as sadness, fear, and anger. As Dr. Harris puts it,” if we live a full life, we will feel the full range of human emotions.”

While most self-help books focus on “emotional” happiness, the Happiness Trap invites us to consider “meaningful” happiness. Therefore, Dr. Harris’ book is for those brave enough to pursue the latter.

Conclusion

As I read this book, I couldn’t help thinking that no matter what I do, I will eventually experience grief, loss, and fear just as I will also experience joy, success, and love. I already know from experience what it means to pursue “temporary” happiness, where each day becomes a sort of balance sheet and a good day is judged as having more assets (good feelings) than liabilities (bad feelings). Would it be so bad to spend the rest of my life focused on creating a life of meaning and purpose?

Today’s blog posting was an introduction of sorts. In future postings, I will continue to explore The Happiness Trap and how the exercises included in the book are helping me come to terms with being separated from my family.

Daniel Jordan
General Manager

Introduction

In an increasingly integrated world it is interesting to see the growing popularity of all things Eastern in our Canadian society. Yoga is not just yoga anymore. It’s Ashtanga (or it’s Western variant , “power yoga”), Hatha, and Bikram (“hot yoga”). Martial arts is more than just Bruce Lee or David Carradine’s Kung Fu. Today our kids could be taking karate, judo, tae kwon do, and we might just as easily be registered in a tai chi class. 

Examples of Eastern influence can also be seen in mainstream psychology . Mindfulness and its Western advocates such as Jon Kabat-Zinn and Zindel Segal have brought Buddhist and Yoga concepts to a new audience in North America. Research has shown it effective in the treatment of depression and substance abuse.

Eastern wisdom is also having an impact on self-help (or “self-development”) as our society grows increasingly disillusioned with materialism as the path to fulfillment.  One author in particular has embraced Eastern wisdom in a big way: Wayne Dyer. Dr. Dyer is a best-selling author of over 30 books that stretch back to his 1976 book Your Erroneous Zones.  His latest book, Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life, is a translation of the classic text the Tao Te Ching, or the Great Way, and includes 81 verses of The Tao, compiled from research of ten respected translations. According to Chinese tradition, The Tao Te Ching was written around the 6th century BC by Lao-Tzu, a record-keeper of the Zhou Dynasty court. 

The exploration of these 81 verses has some interesting applications for those struggling with the paradoxical nature of addiction.

Verse 1 – Living the Mystery

As Dr. Dyer states in the first verse of his book, “paradoxical thinking is embedded in Eastern concepts such as yin and yang or the feminine and the masculine, and where things are comfortably described as both this and that.” When we encounter something we do not understand, we in the West are uneasy with merely allowing the mystery to unfold over time. We want the answer and we want it now! 

Part of the first verse of the Tao Te Ching reads:

“Ever desireless, one can see the mystery;
ever desiring, one sees only the manifestations.
And the mystery itself is the doorway
to all understanding.”

Dr. Dyer sums up this verse by suggesting that “letting go of trying to see the mystery will actually allow us to see.” Paradoxical thinking allows us to flow between wanting and allowing that is more in tune with our physical world. For example, a woman may want to have a child but at some point nature takes over and little is asked of the expectant mother except to allow the process to continue to fruition. While pregnancy may bring many changes, the miracle of birth occurs independently of our desire for understanding how or why it happens.

On the Continuum of Wanting and Allowing: The Serenity Prayer

By reading the Serenity Prayer, one cannot help but see the parallels between the 1st verse of the Tao:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

– Reinhold Niebuhr

According to the AA Grapevine, Bill Wilson, founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, was heard to remark, upon first seeing the prayer, ”Never had we seen so much A.A. in so few words.” Essentially, Niebuhr is suggesting, as does verse 1 of the Tao, that we distinguish between wanting and allowing and not only understand it, but live by it.